Years of Suffering Led to Spiritual Awakening
I'm very interested in learning about the link between mania and spirituality, too, and am glad to share my story with anyone who is interested in hearing it.
I've always been a highly sensitive person and began dealing with depression and anxiety in my teen years. Then in 2005, at the age of 17, I had my first manic episode. The manic episodes continued to come and go for the next three years until I finally sought help. The overwhelming sense of depression that followed my manic episodes eventually became unbearable.
Not all my manic episodes were pleasant or anything close to spiritual, but I had a few that were pretty amazing. In the pleasurable ones, I felt completely blissful, like I was floating on cloud nine. I was in a very peaceful, accepting state of mind in which I understood that everything in the universe is perfectly balanced. Instead of feeling discontent or desperate to change anything, I understood that even the things we judge to be negative serve a greater purpose. There were also times in manic episodes where I felt more connected to everyone.
Also, during those years of experiencing manic-depressive episodes, I started observing paranormal activity. I frequently saw dark shadows, commonly referred to as "shadow people", in my peripheral vision at night. I don't know if many people have reported observing such things while dealing with bipolar disorder, but it's fascinating to consider the fact that some cultures believe that mentally ill people are being visited by entities from the spiritual realm.
I'm not quite sure if those manic episodes I experienced in my late teens were the very beginning of my spiritual awakening, but I've been undergoing a true spiritual awakening for the past year. I saw a therapist for a few years and took medication for 7 years, but I weaned myself off lithium last year and have been successfully managing my health through a natural approach.
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