You said I should talk to somebody I trust about my depressed feelings.. The only person I can possibly trust is my teacher who has been absent for more than a week now and will be absent for a couple of more weeks due to a broken leg!!
I am sure you have noticed how lucky i am..
I don't know whether I can trust her or not; whether she would keep a secret.
Whenever I think of how our chat may go - whether she would think i am nuts, tell my parents etc., I imagine myself chickening out and saying nothing to her about how I feel...
I don't know what to do, I feel that my feelings are up to my throat, very close to exploding...
I am starting to hate myself for this, I feel like I am acting like a spoiled brat which totally isn't like me...
I really hate myself.
Nobody is a "spoiled brat" for having feelings, being sad or depressed. If you can't talk to your parents about your feelings, I strongly suggest you call a hotline. They are free, confidential, and most are available anytime day or night. Some are just for teens. You can find a whole list of
Free Help Lines and Hotlines on this site. You don't even have to tell them your real name or where you live. Just talk to them.
You can't get help if you don't ask for it.
Ben Schwarcz, MFT