Very Conflicted About Sex Drive

I am a very isolated young adult, but I am happy and have no real urge to change this. My problem is that I have a very active sex drive, but no desire to go find a girlfriend. The emotional relationship just seems pointless to me. I realize it isn't exactly normal to not want to be around people, but I don't want to make a huge change in my life like making friends if it will make me less happy than I am now.

My real question is, is there any way I could decrease or eliminate my sex drive? It doesn't have to be permanent, but that would be fine too. I just find these conflicting urges (to find sex, and to keep away form people) to be very annoying.

Ben's Answer:

Yes, you can decrease your sex drive - through certain meditation practices. Doing it any other way is likely to just be some form of repression, and could be harmful to you. The sexual instinct is a deep, primal one. The survival of humankind depends on our strong sex drive - so you have to accept that it is a normal part of being human.

That said, meditation can help to channel the sexual energy from the sexual center (2nd chakra) to the heart and to higher energy. Kriya Yoga (also related to Kundalini and Raja Yoga), is excellent for this.

Your preference for solitude would be very compatible with a yogi lifestyle, and at the same time, doing a good meditation practice would lead to a more natural, stronger connection to others too, as it opens the heart.

A good starting place would be the Mindfulness Meditation available on this site. This meditation would form a good foundation for going on to learning higher techniques like Kriya.

Best Wishes,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT

Click here to post comments

Return to Ask a Therapist.

Share this page:
Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.