Hi thankyou for your advice you gave me some time ago, Im still seeing the same therapist as i confronted him with my concerns and he conviced me it was all in my mind and he meant nothing in it, which I believed but as time has gone on I feel a stronger bond to him than before, I feel totally attached to him.I have told him how I feel and that it feels strange and frightening how much I feel for him I also said I wanted to see another therapist perhaps a women. He said I should stay with him which I have.I also told him that I feel he belongs to me I thought he would tell me that was wrong but he said I am yours. Which I thought was strange.he also sat there smiling at me and when I asked him wot he was smiling at he said I was thinking how lovely you are. Im begining to think maybe I was wrong about him and he is just trying to help. can you please give me some more advice about this. hope to hear from you soon Teresa.
Sorry for the long delay in answering. (I've been inundated with questions). I have to say, from your description, I find this to be a little inappropriate on the part of your therapist. If you say you want to
see a woman therapist, your therapist has no right to say you "should" see him instead. He could explore this with and discuss the pros and cons of staying with him; but only you have the authority to say what your "should" do. His comment that "I am yours" sounds like a romantic comment, not a professional one. And his smiling and saying how lovely you are seems like another self-gratifying statement that has nothing to do with his helping you to come to a decision that serves your best interest. He seems to get off on how attached you are to him, rather than helping you to make sense of those feelings. It is a therapists job to help a client become a strong, independent, individual, not to foster their dependence on them.
Just my impressions. Be your own authority.
Ben Schwarcz, MFTSanta Rosa Psychotherapist
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