by Aaron
(New York)
I am a 16 year old male who has been involved with a girl my age for about a year. I recently broke it off because we had been arguing.
Following the break-up, she began to cut herself and drink to get drunk often.
Her parents are oblivious to her issues and they don't realize when she is under the influence. They also have extreme tempers and will yell at her if they found out. My ex desperately wants our relationship to get back on track and is hurting herself when I turn it down. She even tried to overdose and her mom found her crying in the shower with her clothes on. She has been sent to therapy but refuses to tell the therapist anything. She only tells me her feelings because she loves me.
How can I help her without ruining my own life and without being forced back into a relationship?
If I tell her parents or older sister and she finds out, she will surely attempt suicide.
What can I do in this situation?
Please help.
Ben's Answer:
This is a painful and difficult situation. It's good that you seem to realize that this would be an unhealthy relationship for you, and that getting back together with her just to keep her from hurting herself would be a bad idea.
First of all, if she is in therapy - then good. She should be. Regardless of what she may be telling you about not telling her therapist anything, it's possible that she actually is talking to her therapist -- but is manipulating you to try to get you back, by leading you to believe that you are the only one she can trust. (Just a possibility).
If at all possible, it may be good for her to use a suicide hotline (confidential - 24/7 helpline) so that you aren't functioning as her crisis line. Of course you can't force her to use it,