by Alex
(Silver Spring, MD, USA)
I have been treated for bipolar since 13 (I am 20 now), and I have always considered my treatment to be successful (I measure this by a lack of major episodes up or down). I have also been blessed with a what seems to be minimal side effects from Lithium and Seroquel, and Concerta. However, I am not at all content with my self because despite my long term stability, I continue to suffer from symptoms of something. I have difficulty putting memories together, I avoid socializing because I am still sensitive to peoples actions, I often feel passionless about anything and in times where I do feel passionate the most I can put forth is an insight after which I lose my flow. I rarely take risks because I rarely feel confident, and often when I do feel confident I quickly "self regulate" by over analyzing a situation to the point where I become indecisive. I am stuck with all this which I cannot rectify, and I am confused because I do not know what my medication is treating me for anymore. My brief memory of the year in which it was determined I had bipolar (pre medication) indicates that while I had clear episodes of bipolar and mania, many of the symptoms I've listed above were not a part of my life. And despite all I have said, I actually live a decent life with friends (though my friendships are not all I'd like), am a somewhat successful college student, and have a good family life. Yet I feel as though something is wrong with my life.
My questions then are: is this a typical experience? Is it the bipolar or the medication or something else that may be contributing to these symptoms? If it is bipolar, are there things I should be doing besides medication to regulate (I do little else)?
Ben's Answer:
You are very clearly describing exactly what millions of other people experience when they are "stabilized" on psychotropic drugs. An excellent question: "Is it the medication or the Bipolar disorder?" This is not only a dilemma in the treatment of psychiatric disorders, but for other "chronic" medical issues as well.
When the prevailing medical opinion of a disorder is the it is "chronic" or "incurable" it really leaves absolutely no option for every going off the medication. If a person continues to have symptoms, more drugs are added or dosages are raised until symptoms are at least "more manageable." And when a person appears to be free of any major symptoms, this is also justification to remain on the same amount of medication indefinitely, according to the usual mainstream medical wisdom - because "the drugs are working."
So if a person explored other means of recovery and healing, and their condition actually started to get better, but they were still taking medication - how would they ever know that they were getting better? They wouldn't! They would be feeling the side effects of these potent mind altering chemicals and go on believing that they were actually just having residual symptoms of the disorder.
All drugs have side effects. Every one of them. Some people are not very sensitive and may barely notice any side effects; while others are highly sensitive and have very disturbing side effects. And many people experience changes over time when they continue to take a drug for years; side effects may start to "show up" where they didn't exist before.
In my work with clients with Bipolar Disorder who take psych meds, the majority have had to endure some kind of hell in dealing
![]() |