(wichita ks )
rant moment : god i hate how fat i feel. sometimes i feel as tho i am fighting a lost cause like there is always gonna be another 5 lbs to lose no matter how much i lose like i will never be perfect ! god i just wish this way of thinking would leave my mind its like i keep getting farther and farther in and the farther i go the less chance i have of getting out. Does anyone know how i feel? everyone see's me but does everyone know the fight that takes place in my mind? is anyone listing? sometimes i just wanna scream out for help but i know if i did then i could never return to the place i feel safe. But i have to ask myself, "Is the place i feel safe really safe at all? Is it all in my mind or is it for real? In the end will it really be worth all the problems it has caused me now? Secretly in my mind i know it won't be worth it but is it not enough to want it to? Am i crazy or just confused? please can anyone tell me the answers to these?
My Spiritual Teacher and Guru says "we live in a bedlam of misery, created by our own thoughts." The deepest truths are never found in the mind. And the solution for feeling crazy in your inner thoughts is not to think more thoughts, but to find ways to think less. The less we think, the better off we are. Wisdom, intuition and living with the heart as your guide is far superior to living in the head. Thoughts are useful for adding and subtracting, making a grocery list or other daily chores, but for the higher things, finding joy, meaning, purpose and peace - learn to let the mind go. Learn this truth when you're young and you may prevent a midlife crisis when you're 40.
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
Santa Rosa Psychotherapist