Hi, I am just now coming to terms with the fact that besides my family, I cannot feel empathy for others. I cant maintain a relationship because I don't have actual feelings for the other person other than lust or sexual desire. I often feel like I am better than most people, and I get violent thoughts about others. I don't know if this would qualify as a symptom, but I frequently shoplift and I feel no guilt about it. I used to have an obsession for harming/ torturing bugs and I usually got a kick out of it. I have a big fascination with war. I feel superior to others, especially those of a different race. I haven't brought this up to my current therapist.
I have ended up in the hospital twice in the past two years due to overdose- related suicide attempts. Really, I don't care about anyone, except for my family. I feel like people should die, and I don't feel guilty because of it. I wouldn't kill someone, just to be clear. I feel pleasure watching others get hurt. Please help me figure this out?
Ben's reply:
Thanks for your question, but this is too complex an issue to address in this forum. If this is the truth of how you feel and think, then why haven't you talked to your therapist about any of this? Exploring this question should be done with someone who knows you, who you have some trust with, and who has a good understanding of antisocial behaviors. Not all therapists are skilled in that area, so make sure yours is.
Wishing you the best,
Ben