Sharing Personal Friend's Emails With Spouse

by Tony

Is it acceptable to share my friend's personal email with my wife? I was scared and not man enough to deal with it myself, I handed it over to my wife, as a result the situation go out of control and she helped rubbed it in to defend me. I lost my friend's respect and violated his privacy. Was I wrong to share it with my wife or was he wrong to upset me in the first place?

Ben's Answer:

I think you've answered your own question. You said you were scared and avoided the situation by handing it over to your wife. Clearly, you regret that decision, and feel it was a betrayal of your friend's privacy. Was he wrong to upset you? We all upset each other sometimes. Surviving a conflict is a sign of a deep friendship. Apologize for the violation, tell your friend you were hurt and upset with him and didn't know how to respond and that it was not your wife's place to do that for you, and then move on. If your friend really cares about your friendship, hopefully he can listen and let it go.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
Santa Rosa Psychotherapist

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