sexual relations between elderly couples

by Terry

If I am ready for sex and he is not ready is he insecure or is it depression or illness?

Ben's Anwswer:

Older men can have a strong sex drive, but often encounter many issues around sex; For some, sex drive is not what it used to be. Other's may have some type of erectile disfunction and may feel embarrassed about that; and some men may have gone a long time without a sexual relationship and are insecure about getting back to it.

Depression or illness can certainly affect sexual interest and performance. Health issues such as heart disease/cardiovascular disease, diabetes and depression should be ruled out by a doctor, and it's always a good idea to get checked out.

Another common issue of sexual difficulties for men is performance anxiety. The best thing you can do is to find less threatening ways to be affectionate and intimate and to encourage him to be open and honest with you about his feelings or concerns.

Good sexual intimacy always starts with emotional intimacy.

Sexual performance and arousal issues can often be improved with Meridian Tapping/EFT, which is a very safe method that you can do for yourself, to alleviate numerous emotional-somatic issues.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
Santa Rosa Psychotherapist

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