same sex love
by Mis Maji
I fell in love with a girl. And I'm a girl, too. I think I'm going crazy. A couple of years ago, we were in a relationship with the same guy, and both of us suffered because of him. When he told me about her, and that he couldn't stay with her because he didn't like her, I was curious to find out who is she, what does she look like... And when I found out, I liked her so much, she was something special. I stopped thinking about him, and I wanted only her. I must say it wasn't first time I felt something for a girl. When I saw her, I was in heaven. I only wanted to see her and to talk to her.
A couple of months ago, she started texting me, and finally confessed she likes me more than a friend. At that moment I couldn't believe how happy I was. I smoked a lot, and sent millions of messages. So, my mom saw that, and I had to say what's going on. She is crazy since that day. My parents told me to stop talking to her, and I lied. I didn't want to. I didn't think it was right, for we didn't even kiss. I was so unwilling to stop something I enjoyed so much. So, she again found out. Now I'm lying to them again. I feel so bad because I have to lie for something so harmless. I'm 22, and I never did anything bad. But in our country, it's not acceptable, and my parents say it's a shame for our family. I'm so much in love with her. They are driving me crazy, always behind my back, watching what I'm doing, don't believe me when I say I go out with someone else. I can't take
it anymore. Is it really bad if I talk to her and don't tell them? She is in a relationship with a guy, but I think it's her way to hide these emotions, she told me to find one too. She says she loves me, and she never felt something like this, never cried because of someone like she does now because of me. We really have something special. What should I do? :(Ben's Reply
You are 22 years old and you have right to love whoever you want. It is nobody's business but your own. If we can't even love who we want (another consenting adult), what kind of human rights do we have? Isn't this the most basic freedom of all - to Love? And what you are doing is so innocent - you're not even having a physical relationship. I believe you should be free to have that too - but I also realize that in some countries that is socially unacceptable or even dangerous (I don't know what country you are in). It's a sad thing that this is still an issue in our world.
You are not alone. In every culture and every place on earth there are people just like you, and in many places the consequences of being yourself are rejection by your family or community, or worse. But you are not wrong for having these feelings.
Some people go their whole life without finding a truly loving relationship. It is a precious thing. Value it. And don't apologize for it. But be safe. Love is blind and can lead us to do impulsive or risky things that can cost us dearly. Only you can decide what you are willing to risk for this relationship, and what is possible with her.
Wishing you Love and Freedom,