by Musa
(Uk)
From the title you can tell this is not a pretty experience when describing the physical aspects of my awakening..
But from the spiritual aspects, i felt as if i was in the presence of god himself...
Complete stillness and contentment with pure joy at finally understanding it.
Ive always been sensitive and prone to depression from a young age, i always want best for people and have never been known to get angry or hurt anyone. Ive always been the shy smiley person happy to get along with anyone.
However my childhood was full of abuse, and in my teens have had many bouts of depression. I just don't choose to spill it on others and keep quite whilst listen to other peoples problems..
My core belief growing up was that anybody could do anything they ever wanted to with the right amount of concentrated effort. I still believe that now.
Prior to awakening experience id studied Buddhism for a few years and meditated on and off since 19. I'm 25 now. I feel this was a really important cause for me having such in depth inner knowledge.
Anyways here's how it went down.
I had stumbled across new age beliefs and they made too much sense to me. I didn't sleep for a few days i was too excited i wrote half a book in a week..
I skipped work and called in sick because i figured out the code of the universe (thought=reality)
I called all my friends to meet for a big announcement.
I went to his house, an i started preaching these theories..which i still mostly believe to be true.
As the day progressed we all smoked weed, and that's when it started happening.
I cant describe it exactly but i felt i was 'in the flow' of divine energy..
I was seeing signs everywhere. My friends were playing a random internet game.. And the voice over of the game said something like " this is your talent you are gifted with, you can step through the door and you will have this gift and nothing will be the same again, or you can choose to end the journey now."
at this stage of the high, i had already established i had this weird ability to speak to people and heal them. Im talking deep wounds, even without the person knowing i was healing them, they would tell me deep deep things about their past, and i would tell them from my deeper self (divine) that everything is going to be ok. And i could see the emotions in there eyes and presence.
Anyways kinda side tracked. On the story, we were all high on weed and my friends were playing this internet game and the voice over in the game was asking me if i wanted to continue this journey by walking through the door or stop now...
Of course i said yes in my mind & i believe that higher consciousness or god or whatever was speaking to me directly through the internet game my friends were playing.
After i accepted this healing gift things got weirder...
That night went even more out of control, i was so wrapped up in this divine energy, that at some point in the high i felt like i was god.. At this stage i really should not have been around these people as they did not know what was going on and didn't look after me...i thought i was god on earth and i had the power to awaken people.. I had a vision of everything that existed in the history of mankind and everything that will one day exist, but it was very quick vision only a minute or two. I saw an ideal way of life, i saw that i save the universe with this divine knowledge (maybe not me personally, but my spirit, which is also your spirit - we are all one). I saw a utopian way of life it really will happen i know it.
Like i said i wish i was around shamans at this stage as opposed to my friends as they really didnt know