my mind races and tells me all kinds of lies. I know that the lies are stupid and not true, but my mind still tries to rationalize the unrational thoughts. Thats what really scares me.... that my mind will convince me that some of the stupid and untrue things are true ( even though I know they aren't). My mind tells me that everything in my life is scripted.....meaning that nobody(except me) has any real personality or emotions. It says that most everything that happens is just like a script and not very real.
This feeling that everything is unreal or scripted can be caused by anxiety or by your own fears and emotional barriers to connecting fully with other human beings. The mind is incredibly powerful and can be your best ally, or your worst enemy. When we get caught in fear and tangled in our own thoughts, we can get into some pretty scary and hopeless places.
The basis of all fear, no matter what the "outer" circumstances, is always separation. Separation from others, separation from nature, separation from your own feelings, separation from your own deeper Self, separation from your Source, (Spirit, Divine Consciousness, God, or whatever name you want to give it).
The best places to start working on this, are in connecting with people, whether a therapist, a group or a good friend. Eventually, meditation can be one of the most powerful ways to move beyond this, but if you already feel isolated, alone or scared, it may be more overwhelming to face those inner thoughts and fears by yourself. Connecting with people should be the primary thing right now. Learning to trust people and show your own vulnerability, your true feelings, will lead you to a deeper feeling of connection and "reality."
I wish you the best,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
Santa Rosa Psychotherapist