Nibblets of information (Oral fixations)

by Michelle V.
(scottsdale, az usa)

I have dated many men, but with my current boyfriend I find myself gnawing on either his arm, shoulder or chest. I have never done this before and it just seems strange to me. I never think to myself "okay I'm gonna gnaw on him now" I just find my self doing it. He has no problem with it he thinks it cute. But I find it strange. what does this mean about me? Or our relationship?

Ben's Answer:

Sometimes in close sexual relationships, depending on the chemistry, we may find that we regress. That is, something about the relationship triggers unconscious memories and feelings from childhood, or even infancy. Babies gnaw on their parents whenever they get the chance. It's a way of feeling connected and safe and nurtured as an infant.

So there must be something about him that feels parental - even if it's totally unconscious. Next time you get a desire to chew a limb, just stay conscious of yourself, and imagine you're a baby again. It might start to make more sense to you.

If you just stay conscious (and don't drift into a sort of hypnotic/trance state where you do these things impulsively), you will probably stop doing it. Go easy on yourself and don't be critical of yourself it you do it again.

Meridian Tapping/EFT would probably help you stop this habit if you really find that you can't control it.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT

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