Mania lead to my spiritual connection
I experienced my first major connection with god six years ago during a manic episode. I came to know truths about life, consciousness and the universe. I had experienced something similar years before during my first episode, but after the trauma of accepting I had experienced psychosis, I dismissed the spiritual element of the experience.
But the second time there was no going back - when you really connect with your soul you know about it. Since then I have investigated the spiritual world, and discovered angels and how we can connect with them through our energy chakras. I'm lucky in that I haven't experienced the depressive side of mental illness to a significant degree. Having said that I have experienced intense fear and paranoia, at one point believing I heard the voice of the devil who told me to harm myself. Luckily for me this was the moment that I was able to connect with God/my soul/higher consciousness as I questioned the validity of that voice. I was saved and the experience changed my life.
That's a beautiful example of transcending the sickness-identity and trusting your inner Truth. I believe that in any trauma, illness or loss in life there is the potential for us to connect with something deeper or greater, and to gain wisdom and self-knowledge. It sounds like your turning point was "questioning the validity of that voice" that was (what I would call) the ego, the fearful mind, represented as the devil.
It takes a lot of self-awareness, courage and grace to remain present in the face of that kind of intensely fearful state of mind.
It is not always easy to come to terms with the fact that mania can be a combination of "psychosis" or "paranoid delusions" as well as truly divine or transpersonal experiences.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience!
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
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