by darlene
(san bernardino)

Im an 18 yr old girl and stuff has happened to me in the past when i was little and its haunting me. I've never told anyone what happened. I need to know what to do?

Ben's Reply:

It can feel very scary when you come to realize that painful things from your childhood need to be dealt with and talked about for the first time. You only need to find someone you can really trust. Finding a good therapist would be one option that I would strongly recommend. Remember that just starting therapy does not mean you have to unload your whole story in one session. You should go at the pace that feels comfortable for you, when you feel ready. It is very important to feel a good connection and natural feeling of trust with a therapist. If you check out a therapist and don't feel a good connection, or if you feel judged or pressured, then interview some other therapists until you find someone that you feel comfortable with. When you find the right person, you will be very relieved to not have to hide your past anymore.

I would also suggest that you find a licensed therapist that is very experienced working with trauma. Someone skilled at working with trauma will help you more than just talking to a kind-hearted therapist for months or years without ever resolving the traumas.

There is more help available than you could imagine.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT

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