by Lolita Kitten
(New Jersey)
I was raped by most of my ex-boyfriends and several people that I thought were friends. I lied to my boyfriend about it, telling him that I slept with them or that nothing happened after he grilled me about it over and over. But I couldn't live with it and confessed the truth that I was raped. Several of the people involved were friends of his and they gave him bogus stories and he believes them over me. I'm trying to prove everything to him by going to the police and a lawyer, but he won't stop putting me down about being raped and telling me that I'm "dirty, loose and used". I love him very much and things are great between us when this all isn't an issue. What should I do?? I just want to show him that it isn't impossible for a girl to be raped that many times. I used to have a drug problem and I have been diagnosed as bipolar. Please help me.
Ben's Answer:
My first question why someone that supposedly loves you, and has a great relationship with you would ever call you "dirty, loose and used." Maybe if he said it once in the heat of anger, and was sorry for saying it.... but if this is how he really feels, maybe it's not such a great relationship.
It's hard for many guys to understand how common rape is, or how a woman can be sexually assaulted repeatedly. It's actually very common to be assaulted more than once, especially if the first time you were abused was a a young age. When this happens in childhood, you carry that trauma and become a target for other predators. It's not your fault.
I also know many people with Bipolar Disorder that become super-sexual when manic, and lose all judgment
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