by Mary
(Sharon, MA )
I have been married for almost 40 years to a man who has been emotionally abusive for most of that time. For various reasons, I chose to stay with him in the past. Now he is quite ill, and needs a lot of assistance. I work full time, and also take care of him. He is getting more and more verbally and emotionally abusive, but I feel too guilty to leave someone who cannot take care of himself. He is not at the point of needing a nursing home yet. Also, I have three children, two of whom have no relationship with him. Only my son still talks to him, and I am afraid my son would break off all relations with me if I left his father. I feel like I am in a no win situation. Any advice?
Ben's Answer:
40 years is a long time. But it's NEVER too late for a person to change. Stand up to your husband. Look him square in the eye, tell him to shut up and listen, and tell him exactly what you will and will not accept from him from this point forward. Call his bluff. If he's relying on you to take care of him, he has nobody else to take advantage of. He's counting on you to remain the target of his abuse; He doesn't know it can be any other way. And the more his health declines, the more bitter he likely feels, and the more he feels justified in abusing the
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