freaked me out

by Judy
(Tennessee)

My boyfriend of two years followed the woman who caused his motorcycle accident a year ago. He was hardly hurt and was very well compensated. When asked why, he said he wanted to see if she had "changed her ways"...I find this disturbing. He is a very stable person who seems to have a vindictive side however....Your thoughts PLEASE?

Ben's Answer:

I think this is disturbing too... there's really no logical explanation for this behavior; If he had really been hurt, or if she had seriously wronged him in some way, then I could at least understand that he might be acting out of anger (which would still be disturbing, but easier to understand). The comment about "changing her ways" makes no sense either.

Human beings do strange things, often with little or no conscious awareness of their motives. Not an excuse for him, but there may be no answer to this riddle, unless he's either a sociopath determined to get revenge, or he's delusional, in which case he may have some logical agenda in his own mind, that makes no logical sense to anyone else.

If this continues to bother you, I think he owes it to you to reach deep inside himself and come up with a better explanation than this, to put your mind at ease.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT

Santa Rosa Psychotherapist

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