by Laura
(Miami, Florida)
I've had this weird issue with guys my entire life. I love the chase and beginning stages of hooking up with someone but once I realize it is no longer a chase and the guy actually likes me I get this really weird feeling. When I'm with the guy I'm fine but when I'm alone and think about him I feel nauseous and I kind of freak out. All of my friends have had long-term relationships but I've never been in one. I'm a pretty girl who wouldn't have a problem getting a boyfriend and have had a few prospects in the past but I've ruined it by freaking out every time and it ends badly with me being upset. I also seem to find an excuse as to why I haven't been in a relationship (like I am still not over my ex or I only like certain types of guys). I also find myself having ridiculously high standards which I think is a way for me to convince myself a guy isn't good enough so I shouldn't see where things go. I always like guys who have girlfriends I think because I know it can't lead to anything. I don't know what's wrong with me but it's a serious problem because if I can't get over myself I'll never have meaningful relationships. Please help me!
Ben's Answer:
Laura -
This is what would be called "fear of intimacy." There