by Shannon Marie
(Indianapolis)
Thank you for a beautiful site offering support, hope, and resources! (nothing worse than a site that dangles hope and then after 30 minutes of navigating and forms, finding out that you need a credit card...for hope!)
I am flying solo as far as treatment goes. A series of events including, divorce, joblessness (again!), and homelessness left me in the midst of great transition. I am actually happier than I have been in many years. Medications have never addressed my most crippling symptoms and have often caused great pain. I am unable to afford my medicine. This is fine, for now. I work daily to get back those basic support systems I lost over the last year. I am, now, in a very stress free environment and have the luxury of taking a break and refocusing in whatever manner and for however long I need. I just try to see this time as an opportunity to sharpen my coping skills...maybe by the time I am back on meds my psychological muscles will be stronger...
My biggest issue is that without medication my moods are extreme. My threshold for irritation is beyond just low. I told my boyfriend that "air moving" makes me angry right now. I understand where all my anger comes from.... but I do not want to be an angry person. I am unable to communicate small needs without becoming frustrated and upset. We are trying to get organized - a major project that needs immediate attention. I keep blowing up out of frustration. I