by anonymous
(New York)
I've known this girl for a long time, going on 7 years now, and both of us are in college now. We recently just became mush closer as she used to live out of state but has since moved to the area and now goes to school with me. She has always enjoyed going to friends house's and casually smoking marijuana (nothing I would call a problem at all, she's very safe). I, however, have always hated the act of smoking anything in general and find it a horrible turn off. We sat down and discussed my issue with it, and she said that if I can go out and occasionally binge drink like many college students (which she doesn't like but will occasionally find herself doing as well), she should be able to do what she enjoys.
In my heart I know I can't disagree with that and it's a reasonable argument, but I don't think I can personally get over the smoking. My priority lies with making our relationship work because I do really enjoy my time with her. As we stand now, we aren't at any agreement, but our "nights out" have instead become a little secretive (don't ask, don"t tell). Where do I go from here? Is it my responsibility, if I want to make this work, to understand and accept? She got mad at me when I originally asked her to give up the habit for me fearing issues it might cause down the road... my dumb emotions getting the best of me. I reasoned, although it seems naive and insensitive of