by Jeannie
(toronto)
why is it my sister feels comfortable saying whatever nasty thing she can think of to me? Up until the past year, I have allowed this to go on. that's when I decided that I am not letting this happen any more. I have been distancing myself from her and, as a result, am feeling better about myself and my life. I am not allowing her to get away with such self-centered and nasty comments. But it seems to make her even angrier. So much so, she now complains that I am the nasty person. But I know I'm not. I just don't want her affecting my emotions as much as she has in the past. And yet her horrid comments still have me saying to myself "maybe she's right. Maybe I am at fault." How do I stop her from really getting to me? I can't change her. I just don't want her to have so much impact on how I feel.
Ben's Answer:
It sounds like you are doing just exactly what you need to to take care of yourself emotionally. Distancing yourself may be the best thing you could do in this situation. But the voice of doubt in your mind that says "maybe she's right, maybe I'm at fault," needs to be quieted.
I'd strongly recommend trying EFT (Meridian Tapping) as a self-help method to clear your mind of this negative self-talk. Refer to the EFT Basics page to learn the points on the body to tap (with the fingertips). Once familiar with the basic routine and tapping points, use the following script to work on this issue:
1. (while tapping the karate chop point):
"Even though my sister says these hurtful nasty things to me, I accept myself as I am."
"Even thought my sister verbally abuses me, it's not my fault."
"Even though my sister blames me for her nastiness, I know it's not my fault and I choose to accept
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