Depression caused due to Exam.
Around 3 years ago I started preparing for an exam Joint Entrance Exam-for the Indian Institute of Technology in India and at first started to feel very angry when I came to know that my friends were not interested in the preparation as much as I was.I also had the habit of masturbatingnot too much before I got there but I started to feel like I was the only guy who would do anything to get through the exam. Also the other problem was that I had set my aims very high but I just prepared for the exam.They had a ranking system for every exam in which not only the students from my campus were ranked but there were lots other in the ranking too.... and when the results came...I was better than the guys I had been studying with but far worse than those from the other campuses.....that made me feel depressed and I started sort of over masturbating and under the guilt and lot of the (virtual) burden that I had put on myself started to build up.I was very depressed....
Now after noticeably recovering I feel I lack the emotions that others do...love..passion..feel of companionship...and putting heart in something.
Too much studying, too much obsession with proving yourself, too much competition and too much mental "stuff." If you want to feel things - love, passion, affection, heart... it's not to be found in your head. Learn to be in your body. Turn off the computer and the TV. Get out in nature. Be where it's silent and there is no hum of electricity. Meditate. Be in nature. Be with other people who are seeking the same. Listen to *live* music. Dance - and have fun. Don't think about it!
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
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