Ben:
Thank you for allowing myself, and others, the opportunity to ask personal questions that we may not feel comfortable to ask anyone else. My Ex-husband was abusive. Toward the end of the marriage, my then teenage daughter was emulating him, and they both became abusive toward me. I left her senior year of high school, and her father would not allow her to have contact with me. Subsequently, she went to college in another state, started to contact me, and we have come so far. She calls me everyday, and we talk about everything. When she comes home we always spend time together. However, she has never come home (her fathers house) in the past four years for longer then a week. She avoids coming there. Even though we have become very close, she never introduces me to her girlfriends or boyfriends. She has pictures all around her apartment of her father and brother, but none of me. It is as though she has a secret relationship with me that she wants no one to know about. At her recent college graduation, while I was able to attend the actual graduation; I was not permitted to attend any of the family graduation functions, as her father told her he would not attend if I was included. Why does she want to keep our relationship hidden? She will not talk openly about any family issues. Additionally, she has a severe problem with her relationships with men. She always breaks it off with them, tells them she wants to be friends, and then when they contact her, she creates some form of drama with everyone that they (ex-boyfriends) are stalking her. What is going on with her, and how can I help her? Thank you so much.
Ben's Answer:
What seems clear is that your daughter doesn't want to lose either one of her parents. Even though her dad has a history of being abusive towards you, she aligned herself with
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