Can't Stop Talking to Myself!

I have talked to myself at least since I was a teenager, I am now 33. I had no friends and was very lonely growing up. I believe it started as a way to cope with the loneliness. Now as an adult, I have many healthy relationships but I find that I cannot stop this bad habit. I find that when I am alone, I am constantly talking to an imaginary audience or to someone that I know; reliving events that happened during the day or working through future situations. Have you heard of this condition before and can it be treated? Any help would be appreciated.

Ben's Answer:

I don't think there is any "condition" that fits this description, and i don't consider it pathological. In fact, it's only a problem, if you feel it's a problem. Sounds exhausting. But it makes sense that you developed this as a way to cope with loneliness when you were young. If I was working with you, I'd try EFT. I think it's very possible that this technique could help you very quickly. You could learn it on your own, but might also benefit from working with a therapist who uses EFT. Doing the EFT process is actually "talking to yourself" - while tapping your meridian points - so it may feel quite natural to you!

Meditation is another thing that would be of tremendous help for this. Since much of your talking seems to be actually "thinking out loud" - reviewing your day, thinking through future situations, and having imaginary conversations. Most people do this all the time, just like you, except they do their talking silently, in their mind. The result is the same - you live in a state of mental preoccupation, always focused on past and future, and what-if's and you miss out on living in the Present Moment. Meditation teaches you to focus on the here-and-now and to quiet the restless mind. When the inner conversation stops, real peace and happiness begins.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT

Comments for Can't Stop Talking to Myself!

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 07, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstar
same here
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem.. but I think its because ive had so many issues in my past that I need someone to listen, and I didn't have anyone.. til this day I still create an audience just to have comfort..

Oct 01, 2013
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Be Ye Transformed
by: Anonymous

Your problem can easily be solved by putting your trust in God. Submit your will to the will of God. Then focus on the moment living your life for him and through him. Letting him worry about the outcome and trusting him to take care of the big picture. Believe that Christ will save you by transforming you into into Love.

Feb 27, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I have that too!
by: Anonymous

You just described my mind... It completely drives me crazy, I just want some silence! Would love to make it stop. :) You can email me if you want.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Ask a Therapist.

Share this page:
Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.