Ask a Therapist

Ask a therapist a question for free!
-- Due to the number of submissions, responses have been temporarily paused. Please feel free to read the many questions and answers that have already been posted. Thanks for visiting!

Your questions and answers may be posted on the "ask a therapist forum"  for the benefit of others. All submissions will be handled confidentially (you don't have to give your real name and I suggest that if you do use your real name, that you only use your first name).

Ask anything you want - no question is too strange!

Please note that once I answer a question on this forum, it becomes a public page on this website. (But again, remember you do not have to post your name).



Please keep your questions personal and specific. General questions (such as "I think I'm Bipolar, what should I do?") are too vague. And please don't ask me to tell you the symptoms of depression. For answers to general questions there is ample information already on the website. Please take your time and look around while your here.

Complete the form below and you will be notified (if you wish), when your question has been answered and posted. Thanks for posting your question!


While you wait for my response to be posted, please read the many questions and answers already posted below. Comments can still be posted in response to any previous posts on this page. Thank you for your patience!



" I am doing your downloaded short meditation and restarted EFT. It's helping. I applaud you, reading the questions is so moving it sorta snaps ya  into a grateful perspective.
Thank you for what you do."
-Patricia A.



The information on this site, including responses to questions posted on the Ask-a-Therapist page, is not meant to be a substitute for psychotherapy or evaluation by a mental health professional or physician. Use of this site does not constitute or imply a therapist-client relationship. This is an educational website, and in no way intends to diagnose, counsel or otherwise treat you for any psychological or medical problems. Consult your medical doctor before making any decisions regarding your use of medications or supplements. If you are having thoughts or impulses to commit suicide, please call 1-800-SUICIDE, or call 911, or visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

What Other Visitors Have Asked

Click below to see questions from other visitors to this page...

People in the medical model don't address the spiritual 
Hello, I was glad to find your website. I am 45 year old female who had an onset of psychosis at 43 and was hospitalized 3 times for psychosis. No …

Husbands spanking wives 
My husband and I have been married almost 25 years. We have been fighting a lot lately. I hate to admit it, but I am the one who usually starts it. My …

Talking to Self? 
I'm 17 and can always remember talking to myself. But Its not normal like everyday "oh good job!" or "nope that doesn't go there" its like I'll make up …

Step Daughter 35 and the Electra Complex 
I am 50 years old and have 2 biological children of my own - girl,25 and boy,19. I have been engaged for 3 years to a man and we love each other deeply. …

DID without trauma? 
Is it possible to develop DID without going through childhood trauma? The closest thing to trauma that I've ever experienced would be falling out of my …

Path to becoming a therapist  
Hello! First, to begin with my background information, I am a junior in high school, trying to find my way into the world. I have depression (in which …

does therapy just not work on some people? 
Hi I have been going to therapy on and off for a couple years and I am no better for it. To summarize the issue: I cut myself so bad can never wear short …

diapers 
I love wearing diaper it just bring so much peace when under so much stress lately. I don't feel anything is wrong, but I know that others might think …

Social Avoidant? 
I hate any situation where I am stuck talking to people. If a party is mentioned my automatic mental response is "how can I get out of it". If I can't …

My husband just told me he has been sexting and emailing pictures of himself to someone 
We will be married this 21st of June for 17 years and my husband just told me 2 days ago he has been sexting and emailing pictures of himself to someone. …

Therapist's Boundaries - Fed up and need insight, please-- 
You helped me once before and I am grateful. I hope you can find time for this one. I have seen this therapist for almost two years for depression. When …

Realized I have a problem today. 
I always thought that I was happier than most people, but today I realized I have a problem. I have a thought go through my head very often. If I knew …

same sex love 
I fell in love with a girl. And I'm a girl, too. I think I'm going crazy. A couple of years ago, we were in a relationship with the same guy, and both …

My Therapist Seems Uncomfortable Talking About Sex 
I am a female and have been seeing a male therapist for the past 4 years. He seems uncomfortable when I want to talk about sex. Sometimes he looks as …

How do I get my therapist to stop tickling me? 
My therapist (a PsyD, so he's not some unlicensed quack) is awesome in some ways, but in others, not so much. I adore him as a person, and he knows stuff …

Dangers of the Shamanic Journey 
Is a shamanic journey with drumming in the background dangerous to the lay person? Someone told me that individuals suffering from post-traumatic stress …

Hair Pulling Disorder (Trichotillomania) 
Hi, I've been diagnosed with Trichotillomania or hair pulling disorder. I want to know if I can break this "habit" without medication. I haven't used …

postpartum depression 
I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl 4 months ago. The pregnancy was planned and the birth eagerly anticipated by my husband and I. Since my daughter's …

Recently married and my wife sent pictures of herself to another man 
My wife and I married in November, it was a dream come true for both of us. She was offered a job 1,200 miles away where she grew up, so I packed up my …

Food Addiction or Social Anxiety or Depression? I am a wreck 
Hello Ben, First, let me say Thank you for your kindness to help all of these people. We could use more people like you in the world. My problem is …

child molestation 
My dear friends 9yr old son was sexually molested by an 11 yr old boy what should she do? Ben's Answer: Molestation can mean lots of different …

therapist's sexual innuendo 
This is a very difficult thing for me and I need your thoughts on this. I am a woman who has been in intense therapy with a man and have made wonderful …

Teen dealing with death 
I have a 14 year old daughter and on May 2, 2010 she lost a friend that was very dear to her. Casey was her best friend and her first love. They knew one …

Dealing and healing from survivor guilt after car accident 
Hi, my godmother recently got into a fatal car accident where the person she hit passed away. That same day, she suffered a heart attack. The doctors told …

I need desperate help 
5 years ago, I did something that I hate myself for. I was 10/11 years old (Year 6 at British schools) (I'm 16 now) and I had never experienced sex education …

Girlfriends previous sexual partners... 
Ok first of all im 24 years old. I had a girlfriend for 7 years and she left me. We lost our virginity together. Now im with a new girl and we have been …

Can I have ADD even after performing exceptionally well in Academics (by sitting with the books for an awful lot of time)? 
I am writing to you because I have tried treatment (spending LOT of time, money and effort) with my local psychiatrist and clinical psychotherapist for …

Accused of stealing from my only sister 
My sister accused me of stealing from her, from her own house, while i slept there one night after a new year's party. I would never have thought of stealing …

Hypnotized against my will? 
Can someone hynotize you without knowing? i have been seeing a counselor, and i beleive he has been hypnotizing me. Everything he says, i do. It is all …

My own personal crisis 
My husband, who says he is an Iraqi War Veteran, was suicidal this morning while i was at work. He sent a text message he "claims" was only supposed to …

Anger Management?  
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. In some ways, we are the best of friends. I love him and I can't imagine my life without him. …

Relationship Problems and Pregnant 
I am 18 and my bf is 21. we are expecting our first child and this relationship is a constant battle, we fight over EVERYTHING and it isn't getting better, …

Haunted by the Past 
Recently, I've been experiencing really intense bad moods and feelings, ones that i never had before. I was confused because there wasn't anything annoying …

My life, i dont understand ? 
well im 16 years old. this is difficult for me too say. i have never told my feeling to anyone. i try to keep them to my self i think that they will laugh …

Why doesn't she turn me on? 
Doctor, please help me! I have been divorced for over twenty years now and finally found my hearts true love. She is the kindest, sweetest, most understanding, …

Hostile Daughter - the Beginning of the Electra complex? 
Hi, I am a mother of 48 with three kids. Two girls and a boy. The oldest has just turned 18 this month. She suddenly turned from a very nice girl to an …

Fear of Splitting and Borderline Personality Questions 
Some background: I am a 19 year old female. I've struggled with anorexia, social anxiety, medical issues, depression, substance abuse and self-injury for …

nude photos of ex wife 
I am 46, my boyfriend is 59 and we live together. He moved in with me about 4 years ago. A few months ago, I found some pictures of his ex wife. They …

teenage daughter refuses to take a shower 
My Daughter is 15 years old and refuses to take a shower. When she is told she needs to take a shower after 3 or 4 days without taking one she yells and …

Help! my girlfriend is a Psychotherapist! 
Thank you for your time Dr. I have fallen in love with a woman that turns out to be a Psychotherapist in real life. The connection is more than strong …

Physical reactions to yelling? 
I posted this somewhere else, but did not get any good answers..Perhaps you could help me? Someone yells at me. Constantly, I have a history of physical …

boyfriend with bipolar depression 
my bf and i have been together for 4 months and i fell for him almost immediately.....he has a problem and i am not so sure he is going to be willing to …

13 years and hated by her blood. 
HI...my name is Madison and i am 13 years old. i have alittle sister and she is 7. as you may be able to see now is that she is at the age where barbies …

Depressive Phases Every Few Months 
I am 18 yrs old and I attend a local community college. I have these depressive phases every few months. I was wondering if there is something wrong with …

Can lack of vaginal sex lead to erectile dysfucntion? 
To whom it may concern, How are you doing? I hope this e-mail finds you in the best of health. I hope you can answer my questions about "possible …

I never accept a second chance proposal from men I once loved 
Hi, thanks for reading about my situation. I am very confused. I am a giver in relationships. When I am in a relationship, I am loyal and devoted. …

7 year old uses 'kill myself' flippantly 
My son who turns 8 this month has said he wants to kill himself twice in the past month. The first time he was just hanging out in the office with myself …

Erotic Transference or Is My Therapist Hitting on Me? 
I cannot tell whether my therapist is being supportive or whether he is encouraging an erotic transference. He has said things to me like "It can never …

advertising my art business 
Hello. I'm a portrait painter full-time. I can draw and paint from life, but I am more comfortable working from photographs in the comfort of my own home. …

Possible rape affecting ability to have romantic relationships 
I'm a 20-year-old female college student. When I was 17 I met guy at a large convention in my hometown at the beginning of the summer before my senior …

A man is constantly staring at me, and I would like to know why? 
He always seems to stare at me. My department is across from his department, and when I would leave my department to go to the restroom--he could see …

Is he gay, depressed, on drugs and/or paranoid? I need my brother back! 
I'm writing about my brother, because I don't know how to help him and I feel like my relationship (and my family’s relationship) with him is slipping …

Step father video taping step daughter 
I am so "stuck" in what happened to me/my family/my daughter 5 years ago. My oldest child, Nicole, now 24 years old, is not my ex-husband's child. I …

girl-girl kissing... 5 & 8 years old. What do i say? 
I'm freaking out. I'm currently staying with my sister-in-law. And she has a 8 year old daughter. My daughter is 5. They have become the best of friends …

How do I leave my lazy husband? 
I have been married to my husband for nearly 5 years. We are 32(me) and 39(him) yr old. We probably got married for the wrong reasons, and have stayed …

How to Respond Husband's Critical Comments  
My husband constantly worries about what my daughter and I eat. I am 5'4" and weigh 127 pounds. I eat really healthy most of the time. My daughter is …

Under the Gun! 
There's many things that are hard to get a handle on. But there is one inparticular that I just can't seem to get a grasp on. About six years ago my …

EMDR is Overwhelming 
I have only had 2 sessions with a newly trained social worker. I felt fine when I left but have had outbursts, dreams and a feeling like too much is coming …

Confused. Really, Really, Confused. 
Hey. So, I dont know if anyone is actually reading this but I do hope someone is so i can get some help :/ Im fifteen. In first grade this boy who was …

Sudden changes in boyfriends behavior: torture and biting. 
My boyfriend of four years (age 60. I am 49), who has always been sweet and romantic, one year ago has began to be distant sexually. However, continued …

I'm on my 5th Therapist - How do I get what I need in therapy? 
"I have a really hard time opening up to people and discussing things I want/should discuss. This is an issue with my friends and family and also in therapy. …

Weird Sexuality? 
Basically I have been very attracted to and loving towards girls my whole life. At school I get erections like crazy for them. One night I was looking …

Is EMDR right for me? 
I am a 28 yrs old female. I have had many traumas in my life from physical to sexual traumas and I am diagnosed with PSTD and Bipolar Disorder 1. I was …

Diaper Fetish 
For about 6 years now I have been doing something that most people think is abnormal. I have tried to stop but I have something driving me to keep doing …

5 Year Old Thumb Sucking 
My 5 year old sucks his thumb non stop, he also licks everything.... and sucks on his clothing. ie: the other day walking down the street he was licking …

How to Choose a Therapist 
I am interested in starting psychotherapy. Should I choose a therapist with a specific specialty? I mean how can I know if Psychoanalysis or Gnostic psychology …

My Mother is Driving Me Nuts! 
This could be the longest posting on your site, I think, but I am going to only address what bothers me most about my relationship with my mother. I have …

Recurring Nightmares About My Family 
When I was little, my older sister was very jealous of me. She will tell you that now. She used to tell my cousins not to play with me and I always got …

Giving Up On Life Because My Life is Miserable 
Is my life miserable? Story of my life, I sometimes think that my life is so miserable that I want to end it. first, since I was 13 I have been struggling …

My Mother Needs Help! 
... or maybe I do. My mom drives me crazy! I've tolerated her silently for 27 years because voicing my feelings would do nothing but cause her to verbally …

Pathological Narcissist 
I am a 15 year old teenage boy and when I was younger about 6th grade I suffered from trauma. My mother tried taking her own life and for the next two …

Meditation and Depression 
Hi, I suffered from depression about 10 years ago but was fine ever since. About 6 months ago, I did a course where I was taught how to do this breathing …

Depression and Intimacy... What can I do? 
Hello. Long story short… I met a man and we dated for a month. Had sex five times. Everything seamed good (except for the lack of sex). He broke …

Meditation nightmare 
I recently tried your free Guided Mindfulness Meditation one night right before going to bed. After using it, I felt extremely relaxed and non-stressed, …

Clients Need To Be Aware Of Therapist Abuse 
What kind of trust factor do you think a client should have if they ever need to get counseling again, after finding out their LSW, LMFT, with a masters …

I Don't Want to Be Happy 
I have extremely severe depression and anxiety. I can't work. I don't leave the house. I don't have any friends. I can't function at all. I have been hospitalized …

Can't Stop Talking to Myself! 
I have talked to myself at least since I was a teenager, I am now 33. I had no friends and was very lonely growing up. I believe it started as a way to …

why my depression never goes away? 
Hi Ben, I can never seem to get rid of depression. I have been trying hard like I have been going to gym, reading books and trying to keep busy. But …

Elavil for anxiety and insomnia? Weird Side Effects 
I started to take elavil 25mg yesterday for my insomnia and anxiety. I have felt really weird and out of it all day and dont want to continue taking if …

Bipolar Parent In Denial  
My Dad is bipolar (I am as well) and over the past couple of years he seems to have gotten a lot worse. His moods swings are much more extreme and disruptive. …

Controlling Mothers 
I'm a 23 year old woman who is having a hard time adjusting to being an adult. And the main reason is because of my mother. She may not belittle me or …

Intrusive thoughts Not rated yet
I used to be carefree, but now I'm anxiety-ridden. I am afraid to drive because I have these intrusive thoughts that I should yank the wheel. It's a feeling …

Parents wrote a letter to my therapist - I am 26 Not rated yet
I am currently in therapy. I have been depressed and have been relying on alcohol as a coping mechanism. I spoke to a friend who has gone through almost …

Fantasies Not rated yet
why do i fantasize of people beating me up and then someone watching it and feeling sorry for me and helps me? and why when someone is nice to me or gives …

Teen daughter won't shower  Not rated yet
My 16 year old daughter won't shower anymore she goes a whole month before I can get her to shower. She also keeps her hair covered and keeps a cover wrapped …

Anxiety derealization depersonlization  Not rated yet
Is it normal to fear that you're hallucinating your life and all the people and things in it or feel like you're in a dream or feel detached from reality …

Ready to die at 21? Not rated yet
Hi, I am 21 year old college student and I am struggling to find a reason to live. In a couple of weeks, I graduate and I can't help but ponder that if …

Why do I get angry at guys who express any interest in me romantically? Not rated yet
I'm 19 years old. I've never dated anyone. Ive been asked out before and by people I like, but as soon as they express interest in me I get angry. I want …

Is he ready to move on after his ex passed away? Not rated yet
I've been dating a guy for a year and half now. We've said I love you and I honestly feel he is genuine and I know I love him too. Unfortunately, 6 or …

Past Problems Not rated yet
Okay so this is kind of weird but here goes. Im 19 years old and ive had anxiety and depression since the age of 12. In junior high I went through an EXTREMELY …

My mom is constantly trying to stop me from reading and writing Not rated yet
Hello there. I have always loved to read. It's one of the only things I truly find enjoyable. I read all the time, usually over four hours a day. Recently, …

Nightmares Everynight. Not rated yet
I don't know what happens when I go to bed but I can't sleep without having an uncomfortable nightmare. I often have the same dream nights in a row or …

depression and fetishes Not rated yet
Since I've had depression I've also had a diaper fetish. how do I get rid of this? my girlfriend, soon to be wife, doesn't like it and I really don't want …

Can Cognitive Behavioural Therapy be self taught - if so any recommendations?  Not rated yet
Hi, recently I seen a incident where someone injured themselves. It was a head injury and there was blood and the injured persons breathing was out of …

I don't think it will matter Not rated yet
I went to a counselor because lately I have just really felt out of it. The issue is, and I think it makes sense because double depression was mentioned, …

does love have a limit? Not rated yet
Can a man be in love with two women at the same time? Ben's Answer: I'm sure the readers of this forum will have lots of opinions about this question. …

Contact Not rated yet
Hey Ben, I am almost totally recovered from my deep depression experienced through the years long of my life and want to write to know what about your …

Heart torn into 2. Not rated yet
I'm not too proud of this, But I have been going through my boyfriend's text, call logs, and photos. Before you judge that, I've had a weird feeling something …

Existential Problems Not rated yet
Since I was 20 (now 31) I've been going through an existential self analysis that pertains to this: to what extent can I take credit for anything I do...ever. …

Sociopath, or psychopath? Not rated yet
Hi, I am just now coming to terms with the fact that besides my family, I cannot feel empathy for others. I cant maintain a relationship because I don't …

something wrong with personality? -isabelle Not rated yet
I'm just going to go straight into this. I am a generally happy person, with a few people. but sometimes with people, (boys more often, girls too but …

My wife forgave her father - I can't Not rated yet
A year ago, my wife's mother passed away unexpectedly. It was obvious to everyone that my father-in-law couldn't live alone, so I started to convert my …

Memory Not rated yet
Hello! My mother has been saying things that have happened currently have happened in the past before that is not true. It's every day little things like …

How to escape from being a prisoner? Not rated yet
Growing up, I’ve always desired to withdraw my existence. I suppose it all started when I was about 6 years old and realised that my parents didn’t really …

Anger. Sadness. What's going on Not rated yet
I'm 15 and I used to be the one guy in class everyone liked to talk to. Now I'm here. Angry and sad all day everyday. I found someone and love them so …

Is EFT basically just a gimmick? Not rated yet
I find it believable that repeating the types of phrases used in EFT, and having your therapist touch you, could be useful in treating depression. But …

How come You Don't Answer Questions More Frequently? Not rated yet
I love this site, and I wish you were near me in south Fl, as I would love a therapist with your background. I love reading the Q and A in your advice …

I cannot cry anymore Not rated yet
Well I can't cry, because I have this hard interior. Probably due to my parents abandoning me when I was 4, my grandparents always arguing everyday, I …

is this...right? Not rated yet
I just got a call from my husband that disturbed me greatly. He was crying and near panicked. He has been in therapy for roughly a year dealing with effects …

A fetish website  Not rated yet
Hi, I really, really need your help. My 16 year old son just found a spanking fetish website on my computer. He said to me that he has found them a …

parents Not rated yet
How do I handle being emotionally abused at home. I get called ugly and dumb. I never get complimented. It hurts to think they see me this way. I want …

Freaking myself out with my day dreams Not rated yet
Hi. I am a 16 year old girl. For as long as I can remember I have been having vivid day dreams about my future. That may not sound so bad but it really …

bipolar with extreme rage Not rated yet
Grandson is bipolar but will not stay on his meds. He has been in a mental health hospital three times. He is 27 married with two children. She has been …

whats wrong with my son in law Not rated yet
I have employed my son in law for the past three years. He was wanting to get into my field when he graduated from college but he has not performed well …

Is my Therapist hitting on me? Not rated yet
I am a 21 year old male and this female therapist is around 30 or so. Maybe a little older. I've been seeing her for 6 months and have made tremendous …

Divorce  Not rated yet
I have been married for 28 years very controlling and selfish husband greedy and very cold I dont believe in divorce I filed in 2010 after I lost my dad …

Why did therapist ask that? Not rated yet
I go to a therapist once every week and have for two years. He is very helpful. I have ADD and am better but sometimes still unorganized. I have been late …

Anxiety Issues caused by past bullying Not rated yet
Hi, I am a 17 year old girl who currently attends high school/ college. A year ago I went through a huge fight with my best friend at the time where she …

my therapist asked if i fancied him Not rated yet
I am not sure if my t was trying to illicit a transference but one day in therapy he came out and asked if i fancied him. A couple of months later after …

Never Ending Thought Not rated yet
So, the best way I can think of to describe my issue is to use a broken computer and my brain for comparison. Computer works just fine except for the end …

Irrational Trust Issues Not rated yet
In the past, I have felt used by sexual partners and it has made me suspicious and prudish. I completely trust my current boyfriend, and don't think he's …

Cant keep eye contact with my family  Not rated yet
I went to America for my further study. When i returned to my home i find it difficult to talk with my mother and sister with eye contact. When i try to …

What is this feeling? Not rated yet
My 5 year relationship was not healthy and I somewhat wanted to let go but I couldn't. I was in therapy when he left me without notice. He moved in with …

Depression and Love Not rated yet
Greetings. Ive been in a relationship with a girl for 13 months.I know its a short time to make big decisions but we loved each other sooo soo soo much …

Teenage Social skills Not rated yet
My daughter has always refused to leave the house during the summer, but she normally leaves around 4 times with her friends. This year she refuses to …

lost Not rated yet
Im an 18 yr old girl and stuff has happened to me in the past when i was little and its haunting me. I've never told anyone what happened. I need to know …

is it bipolar, multiple personality D/O, alcohol, or cocaine Not rated yet
Hi, A Dear friend has such abrupt personality changes in a 30 min period. Ex: he started texting, then alternating phone calls all in a 30 min. period …

depression and guilt Not rated yet
My problem started about 2 months before as anxiety, I went to the doctor, he prescribed me with amitriptyline 10 mg and propranolol 40 mg, after 3 days …

I have slept with my brother, how can I fix it? Not rated yet
I'm 18, my brother is 22 and we are not blood related. I was adopted from Russia as a teenager, but legally we are siblings and were always super close. …

help Not rated yet
I cant stop thinking about suicide but I don't want to talk to anyone. what do I do? Ben's Answer : Well the fact that you are asking this question …

e-book Not rated yet
Many months ago you sent me the 96 pg e-book on tapping. I have never retrieved it because I don't know where to find it on my computer. Please advise. …

6 year old peeing on the walls Not rated yet
My 6 year old is literally out of control. You tell him not to do something and he does it anyways, you yell at him for something and he still does it. …

bipolar Not rated yet
I am under a psychiatrist for manic depression who as put me on lamotragine for mood swings. Does this mean that i have bipolar? I've now done 2 online …

My Beautiful Therapist Not rated yet
I have been seeing a therapist for over four years now, he is male, I am female I am a few years older than him. I was first sent to him by a "third …

Depressed Friend Refuses Help Not rated yet
Hey ... I am a muslim, so having a boyfriend isn't at all accepted by parents,it's forbidden by our religion. some girls just do it from behind their …

depression  Not rated yet
My ex-wife is insisting that our 12 yr.old son has major depression and put him on medication, counseling, and took him out of school. I have him weds …

Chronic Anxiety Not rated yet
Dear Ben, I want to ask you what is the way to follow if the root of the anxiety are fears and worries carried to the extreme and the root of those fears …

Rape?? Not rated yet
I was drunk and i man took advantage of me, he tried to penetrate me but he didn't take my virginity does this count as rape? Ben's Answer: The …

Gay or worried? Not rated yet
I am worried I may be homosexual. I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder and depression. So when I pondered why people called me fat or gay... with …

not sure...being watched? Not rated yet
I'm not sure what is wrong with me maybe schizophrenia I don't know. I didn't realise there was anything wrong with what happens until I told my partner …

therapist  Not rated yet
Hi thankyou for your advice you gave me some time ago, Im still seeing the same therapist as i confronted him with my concerns and he conviced me it was …

Narcissism in the marriage.. Not rated yet
My husband has this thing he has done for years when he doesnt want to talk he shuts down wont speak and refuses to ever talk about the situation ever....we …

In love with two? Not rated yet
I seem to have strong feelings for two men in my life. Is it possible to be in love with two people? I really don't like the way these feelings mess with …

Toe numbness while doing any pranyama Not rated yet
I am suffering from low back pain since 2 years without any diagnosed physical problem. I sit on chair for doing Pranayama, with as much awareness about …

Violent Fantasies Not rated yet
Hi Ben, I was sexually molested from age 12-16 (never violently)have had a lot of EMDR therapy for nightmares and for difficulty enjoying sexual intimacy. …

fighting with myself. Not rated yet
I am completely in love with the most amazing guy ever, he's absolutely wonderful. The only problem we have is my worrying. Every day is a constant worry. …

Brain on Overdrive Not rated yet
Hello, I'm Aaron. I'm a guy who doesn't care anymore. I'm smart, in fact, I've been recognized as near brilliant by many people, but you know what? I wish …

Depression? Not rated yet
I am a 13 year old girl and I have had a pretty rough life so far: my parents went through a nasty divorce when I was only a toddler, so I grew up never …

Is it infedelity?  Not rated yet
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We live together, and have been for the past six months, so it is not anything new. Recently …

where to find holistic care and routine vitB shot? Not rated yet
I couldn"t be more unhealthy, these days and it is definitely starting to take its toll on my body and my mind. I don't eat right. I smoke and drink. …

My Fantasy of Being Eaten Not rated yet
I need help. I have a really unusual fantasy. I keep fantasizing about being eaten by a girl in my class called Angela whole and alive. I want to be in …

College Student - Alcohol and Stomach Problems Not rated yet
I'm a 19 year old college sophomore. I've never had any problems with depression or stress until about a couple months ago. One night I had (what I didn't …

Sharing Personal Friend's Emails With Spouse Not rated yet
Is it acceptable to share my friend's personal email with my wife? I was scared and not man enough to deal with it myself, I handed it over to my wife, …

Married to a womanizer Not rated yet
How to cope with your husband and his womanizing ways? He is willing to seek counseling but swears that it's not going to change him. He says it's in his …

Is this just shyness or Social Anxiety Disorder? Not rated yet
My whole life I have been extreamly shy. Im 19 and have had hardly any friends. I just can’t talk to people. Even have a hard time with extended family. …

Forcing Unwanted Affection Not rated yet
My husband and I have been married for four years and we dated three years prior to that. My situation is this: when we were dating my partner showed me …

maybe i'm a lesbian..? Not rated yet
I'm 20 years old. I've noticed that when i fantasize about sex while masturbating, I'm most turned on only when I imagine woman's body. Or I sort of put …

still in love with ex boyfriend Not rated yet
Hello. I am an 18 year old girl and starting college in the fall. Recently i have been talking to an ex boyfriend. We had been dating for almost 4 years …

AIDS/HIV phobias Not rated yet
Hello, I am wondering what could be the basis of phobias. I am not OCD, and am a fairly 'normal' person, if there is such a thing. However, when it comes …

my 5 year old meeting a new stepmom every weekend Not rated yet
what type of consequences are left on a 5 year old girl when my ex husband takes her on his weekend and introduces her to a different girl friend all the …

am i doomed? Not rated yet
i am seventeen and usually a teenager is supposed to be having fun but that is not the case with me. over the summer i read about phobias and now i can't …

Dogs, Trauma and EFT Not rated yet
Hi Ben, I volunteer at a local animal shelter. Would EFT benefit animals and especially dogs who have been in abusive environments? Thanks for your …

Dealing with molestation Not rated yet
How do I deal with hurt and pain from my childhood. I was molested by an older cousin, I never told my mom until I was grown and she has been living with …

Shaking Hands Not rated yet
I am 17 years old and live in Canada. My problem started 3 years ago. Normally, I am a very confident person. However, when I am under pressure my hands …

Jealous brother in law  Not rated yet
How do you deal with a jealous brohter in law? He's an identical twin to my Boyfriend, he's 25 years old. He says he's not jealous but everyone can clearly …

I want to be tested for depression Not rated yet
I'm 13 and female and want to be tested for depression, today i came out to my mom and told her i want therapy because i think i have depression witch …

Anxiety Question Not rated yet
Hi, I'm wondering if you might be able to help me with something. I think I may have social anxiety disorder, but I'm not sure. I'm 22 and I have never …

Therapy for eating disorders Not rated yet
Hi i am a female and 19 yrs old, im new to therapy and have only had 3 sessions so far. I have eating issues but i guess it would fall under Eating Disorder …

Boyfriend question :( Not rated yet
We've been dating almost 3 years and we talked about getting married several times, we are very in love, met when we were 15. And this year we've been …

Cut-off MIL is sending gifts Not rated yet
My MIL and I have never had a great relationship. In fact, we haven't had a relationship at all, from nearly the very beginning. I could spend days telling …

What should the therapist do? Not rated yet
The patient / client starts sobbing uncontrollably during a session, to the extent that they appear to have difficulty talking and breathing. What is the …

empty chair exercise Not rated yet
Hi at the moment i am going to therapy for childhood sexual abuse . My therapist suggested I do the empty chair exercise to talk to my mother as although …

Head injury at age 16. Now 56 and having some 'thinking issues' Not rated yet
I have gone through an MRI recently and was amazed at the size of the damaged right front lobe on my brain. I guess I've done very well considering 40 …

i need help Not rated yet
Me and this guyhave been together since his daughter was four and we've been together for about five years now. I used to do everything with her but its …

Am I bipolar ??? or more ? please help me. Not rated yet
hello: I am eighteen, I think I might be bipolar, I was reading this article and I found so many things that describe my shitty existence. You see, I …

Father's Suicide... eleven years ago. Not rated yet
When I was ten, my dad died. I was told that he died of a heart attack - and we received his life insurance benefits, so this is in fact the official …

Hopeless Not rated yet
I know this is weird but im in middle school -8th grade and i all i want to do is have a kids and get married and be a wedding planner...but i dont want …

The tears come too easily and a smile masks my nervousness Not rated yet
I find it very difficult to talk about my feelings with anyone, because if I just begin to open up, I start crying! I don't like it because then I find …

Lost in Translation Not rated yet
I am a 20 year old woman who is currently experiencing several anxieties (getting engaged, looking for work,planning a wedding, and driving myself crazy). …

sister always criticizes my work Not rated yet
i have run several successful home based business in the last 20 years and prior to that was in corporate America holding several successful position. …

Drumming Rhythms and Auditory Processing Problems Not rated yet
i have a disorder called central auditory processing deficit. i am trying to learn african drumming. as i think it applies to me, i am hindered in …

my male therapist Not rated yet
I'm a single woman and have been seeing my older male therapist for several months, for childhood trauma. He is a lovely kind man and he has been helping …

The Brother I once knew.. Not rated yet
I have a 19 year old brother who a few years ago was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I've always tried to be understanding especially because the disease …

freaked me out Not rated yet
My boyfriend of two years followed the woman who caused his motorcycle accident a year ago. He was hardly hurt and was very well compensated. When asked …

Fantasy Life - Can I Live Without Expectations? Not rated yet
I always have a fantasy future running in my mind. I then get disappointed when outcomes don't match up. I'd like to see how life could be with no expectations, …

personality disorder Not rated yet
I know someone whom I would describe as controlling, manipulative, temperamental and verbally abusive. He is obsessed with having a plan for everything. …

depression, lack of motivation i dont know what it is.  Not rated yet
I am a 20 year old kid, who has got finally what i have been wanting for a long time in terms of academics. However right now i am just not motivated to …

Confused and Afraid to Commit Not rated yet
My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for over 5 years. We broke up about two years ago and I moved to another state but we never really let …

Can my therapist report me to the DMV? Not rated yet
Can my therapist have the authorization to report my license to the DMV because of epilepsy? Ben's Answer: I don't know the law in North Carolina …

Overactive Imagination Not rated yet
Hi, my mind races and tells me all kinds of lies. I know that the lies are stupid and not true, but my mind still tries to rationalize the unrational …

Fear of Growing Anger and Rage Not rated yet
I'm a 49-year-old female diagnosed Bipolar 1, Borderline Personality Disorder, and PTSD. I've been off and on a multitude of medications but want/need …

Fear of Growing Anger and Rage Not rated yet
I'm a 49-year-old female diagnosed Bipolar 1, Borderline Personality Disorder, and PTSD. I've been off and on a multitude of medications but want/need …

Having an Affair at Work Not rated yet
I started a sexual affair a few months ago with a married man at work. I am married myself to someone that does not have a desire for intimacy. I have …

I worry about my 14 year old daughter... Not rated yet
Hi.. My daughter is 14, she weighs 77 kg and she's around 164 cm.. I don't know whether i should be helping her accept her body or tell her to lose weight.. …

twisted vic  Not rated yet
Hello, my name is sally. I have a quick question for you. I was raped four years ago. I never Told the police, or sought any therapy for it. I was so trashed …

Bipolar Treatment : Vitamin D for Vegetarians/Vegans (D2) Not rated yet
There is something in the alternative treatment that says to take Vitamin D3 (derived from Animals) , 5000 IU per day. However, I am a vegan and do not …

Can Meridian Tapping replace the need for medication? Not rated yet
I am bipolar 1 and suffer from PTSD. I have tried virtually every medication only to be deterred by side effects. I have also tried high-level vitamins …

Am I mentally sick? Not rated yet
I'm a 14 year old girl and I don't know where to turn. I think I have a mental disorder. I get irritated at the tiniest things, and have trouble getting …

Stressful fetish Not rated yet
This is a situation you've never encountered before that seems incredibly bizarre. Perhaps you won't know what to suggest, but I am desperate because …

Can't cry anymore Not rated yet
When I was younger, I could cry normally, at normal things that would trigger someone to cry, but now I can't. Whenever I feel depressed or sad, I can …

I love my wife and want to help her Not rated yet
I love my wife, and i know she has a problem, little things cause her to get angry real quickly or upset. She starts cussing and yelling at me, even hits …

Doesn't seem fair. Not rated yet
Sometimes my husband is disappointing to me and I find myself angry at him. Then I ask myself if I have the right to be angry at him when I knew who he …

Teen dealing with death Not rated yet
I have a 14 year old daughter and on May 2, 2010 she lost a friend that was very dear to her. Casey was her best friend and her first love. They knew one …

Destructive dating behaviour Not rated yet
I constantly reject individuals who are romantically interested in me but go after or yearn for individuals who reject me or are uninterested. Why is that? …

Depression caused due to Exam. Not rated yet
Around 3 years ago I started preparing for an exam Joint Entrance Exam-for the Indian Institute of Technology in India and at first started to feel …

depression and lower back pain Not rated yet
Since last 14 years i am on antidepressant tablet 60 mg a day in last 14 years it has relapsed 5 times , now also i am on medication. Is it advisable to …

What to do? Not rated yet
I am 28 and I have been dating a man from Russia that is 22. We are going to have a baby in 3weeks and he has recently changed completley. I found out …

Fear Not rated yet
Is it just fear if you hear a noise or something similar at night and begin to jump to a conclusion like someone in your house besides those who are supposed …

Contacting a therapist from your past Not rated yet
I had a great counselor for six years (94-2000). I moved out of state and had contact with her a couple of times after that(when I ran into some issues …

Gay and married Not rated yet
I have been married for 33 years. About 10 years or so ago I realized or acknowledged that I was physically attracted to men. My wife suspects but we don't …

don't like my sister and the dynamics of our relationship Not rated yet
why is it my sister feels comfortable saying whatever nasty thing she can think of to me? Up until the past year, I have allowed this to go on. that's …

wanting a dad..... Not rated yet
Recently ive wanted to have a father.... when i was little my mom gave me up to my grandma and now its just me and her, dont get me wrong i have a great …

dont know what i want from my life Not rated yet
Hi, I am Sandy and I live in the Midlands (UK), I don't know what I want in life. I married for 20 years and I am 36 years old - and I have three children. …

weight loss Not rated yet
How do I get and stay in the mind set for a healthy weight loss? I have been succesful in the past, but due to a lack of work and the ensuing financial …

How do I access the video mentioned? Not rated yet
Sounds like there is a video clip being offered on the Lady who had the stroke. I would love to see it but don't see your link? Thank you. I am only …

Emotions regarding the Gulf Oil Disaster Not rated yet
Dear Ben, I do not normally watch the news, nor am I political. But the Gulf Oil Disaster has shaken my emotions deeply. When this first occured, …

mixing alcohol with xanax Not rated yet
What can you say to bipolar manic depressed person when nothing makes them happy at the time. And i am afraid to say anything because he will go into …

needing your help Not rated yet
I want to see a therapist but I don't want my parents or friends to find out I have one and its been like 2days I been trying to find a website so I can …

Strange room mate Not rated yet
I am gay and have lived with my room mate for 13 years now. In the beginning we were a couple but I soon realized it would never work. So I told him …

fully confused Not rated yet
i don knw how to start.the problem is my father.i don knw what he is doing is acceptable or not.he is watching pornographic videos and pictures.i told …

strokes Not rated yet
what techniques theraputiclly can you suggest for balance and walking. I HAVE COMPLETED INTENSIVE PHYSICAL THERAPY AND I HAVE BEEN TOLD IT AS FAR AS I …

Anxiety in Alzheimer's Patients Not rated yet
My mother has alzheimer's and grinds her teeth, I feel, from anxiety. The Dr. doesn't want to give her meds for it because it will make her tired. Are …

Needle Phobia? Not rated yet
I suffer from anxiety and I have a fear of HIV since I knew someone very close to me die of it. I was walking the fair about three months ago and we were …

confused by the need to push away from new relationships Not rated yet
Hi- I have never done this before, but was lookiong for answers online, and couldn't find anything that described the way I am feeling. Over the past …

Fear of People/Young adult Not rated yet
I am 19 and in college. I am not sure if I was abused as a child, but every now and than I have this one dream of being molested. like whenever I watch …

Confused... Not rated yet
So I'm gonna start from the very beginning..(I'm 14 now). 3 or 4 years ago, I was that girl who always was alone and never had any friends, my classmates …

Tickling During Therapy Session Not rated yet
If a person asks to be tickled during therapy because it helps them be more comfortable and open during the session, is that ok? Ben's Answer: I …

My Boyfriend's Therapist Says He "Shouldn't Be Dating" Not rated yet
The man I have been dating for 11 months told me that his therapist said that he "should not be dating." (He started seeing his therapist again last winter …

My 16 year old daughter is starting to hate me. Not rated yet
She also wants me to allow her to sleep at her friends house's. I know these people but I dont want her to. I told her that when she had finished school …

my friend is suicidal Not rated yet
Lately my best friend has been saying she is going to kill herself. She is 13 and had a boyfriend. When she was about 7 she had sex for the first time, …

Dealing with grief 17 years later Not rated yet
I'm 22. My dad died of a heart attack when I was 5. I didn't even cry at the wake. I never cried about it until probably 7th grade when my mom moved in …

How to get over the crippling pain of divorce ten years later? Not rated yet
I am actually the one who left my husband. He was my best friend, husband and mentor. We met my freshman year of college and I truely feel that he shaped …

Out of Control 19 Year Old Brother Not rated yet
My little brother is 19 years old, and I'm very concerned about his depression. I guess I really didn't know the extent of it until last night, and I think …

sexuality Not rated yet
I feel I am bisexual and have no one to talk to about this, what should I do? Ben's Answer: The world is full of bisexual people. You just need …

Am I anorexic? Not rated yet
I don't know where to start, so I guess I'll just dive in where it started. About four months ago, I got on the scale and saw my highest weight yet: 136 …

struggling with ana and mia  Not rated yet
rant moment : god i hate how fat i feel. sometimes i feel as tho i am fighting a lost cause like there is always gonna be another 5 lbs to lose no matter …

Is it voices or just me? Not rated yet
This may be nothing, but aside from my social anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and apparently bipolar disorder (which I think I have been wrongly …

Crying Every Day Not rated yet
I spent three years on depression meds and have been off them for a year and a half. I had been doing extremely well until these past 4 or 5 months. …

severe problems with son Not rated yet
my son says he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. He is smoking pot and is very disrespectful. He wants to leave and I really wish I knew where …

psychoanalysis Not rated yet
Traditional psychoanalysis is a. well supported by research b.popular with insurance companies c. not supported by research d. never practiced anymore …

sexual relations between elderly couples  Not rated yet
If I am ready for sex and he is not ready is he insecure or is it depression or illness? Ben's Anwswer: Older men can have a strong sex drive, …

getting my thirteen month old to stop whining all the time. Not rated yet
What can i do to get my 13 month old to stop whining all the time and stop wanting to be held all the time? Also to get him to sleep all night? Ben's …

Pop and In-laws Not rated yet
My husband and I have 3 children; 4,2, and a six month old. I try and keep my kids as healthy as possible and I don't feed them added sugars, candy, etc. …

Can you be friends with your therapist's daughter? Not rated yet
My husband is seing a therapist and is friends with his daughter. The daughter is 27 and my husband is 47....I told him this is not a healthy relationship …

I think im mentally ill Not rated yet
Hey i have a huge problem. I feel as if i have 2 personalities. One is positive and one is negative. When im in my positive state i can do no wrong. I …

over-coming Bi-Polar Not rated yet
I have bipolar disorder. could there be a chance i could be overcoming it? I mean i seem to be happy all the time now. Can you please tell me if i've overcome …

Acceptable Spousal Abuse? Not rated yet
Dear Therapist, I know what society will say about verbal and physical abuse . Everyone says abuse is wrong no matter what, and to leave a marriage …

[Cant keep focused on anything anymore] Not rated yet
I spent a year in a psych ward instead of going to jail 4 years ago. It was the worst experience of my life. I coudnt go outside most of the time, my girlfriend …

Depression affecting erections Not rated yet
I have been dating a guy, we have very strong feelings for each other. He recently broke up with me saying that he is beyond messed up, he cannot get …

My relationships always end up in the toilet! Not rated yet
I just recently got out of a relationship with a man who has all sorts of issues (trust, respecting women and anger). He had been staying with me since …

HIV phobia Not rated yet
Hello, I work in HIV research and ironically, I have an intense fear of contracting HIV. Sometimes when I'm handling HIV infected cells, I would feel …

a world of my own... Not rated yet
do you ever wonder what you're holding on for?? do you ever wonder why you keep trying?? i hate the way that i am the way that i feel the way that i …

Confused by my boyfriend Not rated yet
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and a half now we are both 23. The last six months was horrible we almost lost contact we only talk by chat just …

Unable/Afraid to make decisions Not rated yet
I have had this problem for a long time I assume. Only, I have only noticed it as a problem until recently. Making decisions- That includes, when buying …

I've lost my emotions and I'm lost about what to do about it Not rated yet
Dear, Dr First of all thanks for taking your time to read this. Ok, so my depression started maybe 2 years ago and it was triggered by this man …

How Long Shoud Therapy for Depression Take?  Not rated yet
I have been seeing a psychotherapist for nearly two years. Is that too long? How long does it normally take? Thank you, Angie Ben's Answer: Some …

Perfectionism Not rated yet
How do i get over Perfectionism? I feel like it just needs to end or i cant go on. Ben's Anwwer: Perfectionism is an impossible ideal, a sinister …

Pre-occupation with therapist Not rated yet
I'm in therapy for the first time in my life (for depression) and after a year find myself very pre-occupied with my therapist. It's not a sexual attraction, …

Lies Not rated yet
I asked a question previously on this website and after showing the answer to my boyfriend, he said there are a few things i need to add. I lied about …

Family taking advantage Not rated yet
My mother and brother recently moved about 2 minutes from my house when for the past 25 years they lived over 1000 miles away. My mom is 72 years old …

Need Help... Not rated yet
I have been married to my husband for almost two years. Our relationship started off rocky because we got married after only knowing each other for a month …

6yr old son uses threating language at school Not rated yet
My son came home today with a zap card "kids get them at his school for being bad"! He got in trouble for telling another class mate he was going to kill …

My wife says nothing is going on. Not rated yet
My wife says there is nothing going on between her and a male co-worker but, she has been working late a lot lately and she did not tell me about them …

Relationship Limbo Not rated yet
I was with this man for four years and he cheated pretty much throughout the entire relationship. I was unfaithful to him in the fourth year because I …

Daughter Hides Relationship with Mom??? Not rated yet
Ben: Thank you for allowing myself, and others, the opportunity to ask personal questions that we may not feel comfortable to ask anyone else. My Ex-husband …

Leaving my Husband of 40 Years Not rated yet
I have been married for almost 40 years to a man who has been emotionally abusive for most of that time. For various reasons, I chose to stay with him …

Am I Bipolar? Not rated yet
i have for sometime started at first mind buzzing, couldn't sleep wanting to go out all the time writing down strange things that make sense at the time, …

In my dreams I'm always dying or getting hurt Not rated yet
I'm starting to have a serious problem where every time I close my eyes I see myself getting hurt or I see myself dying. I don't have to be sleeping to …

Mother Son Discord Not rated yet
I am a 46 divorced mother (3 years ago) I left their dad when they were 17 & 20. Both were hurt but communicative during this process. They stayed with …

Forgetting Things Not rated yet
Here frequantly I have been having conversations and doing things that I have done, like cleaning the house or walking somewhere. These lapses of time …

My mom has become manipulative Not rated yet
My mother is 52 years old. She has diabetes, arthritis, fibromialgia and is in remission from cancer. I know she is in a considerable amount of pain. …

Journaling Not rated yet
Ben, I have been keeping an on-line journal, but find that I am writing the entries in the form of letters to someone that I have lost and can't seem …

lied about rape Not rated yet
I was raped by most of my ex-boyfriends and several people that I thought were friends. I lied to my boyfriend about it, telling him that I slept with …

Speechless Not rated yet
My bf and I have been together for five years. For me its been a hot and cold relationship for the past 3 years. We have our months of fighting and not …

Newlywed Sexual Issues Not rated yet
I'm a newlywed, we've been together for two and a half years, just married a year ago, and we've got a great realationship, minus the sex life. we started …

hallucinations and depression Not rated yet
I just turned 16 3 months ago.. I've been having the symptoms of major depression for 7-8 months now but nobody has a clue because I just suffer in silence; …

Prolixin Use Not rated yet
Hi, I have a question about an antipsychotic called Prolixin. I read it was stronger than Haldol. I was on 5 milligrams of Haldol without an anticonvulsant …

Pet Tragedy Not rated yet
My sister and I live at home, we are both full grown adults. My parents have a pet dog and she had a pet chinchilla. Last week, my brother came over to …

Time management - Always Late Not rated yet
Hi, I have been running late for as long as I can remember. I've always been late to school, to work, to appointments, you name it. It becomes really …

How do I tell my mom I need help? Not rated yet
I believe I could benefit from speaking to a mental health professional. How do I bring this up with my mom? Ben's Answer: Everyone has a right …

What do I do with My Deadbeat Son? Not rated yet
My son is almost 21 years old. He quit school with only 8 credits.He is extremely intelligent. His pre- GED exam scored in the 90s.He didn't follow through …

Therapist with a psychological diagnosis Not rated yet
Can a therapist that personally has a psychological diagnosis treat others? Ben's Answer: Therapists are human like everyone else. A great many …

Self Esteem and Sex Not rated yet
My girlfriend has self esteem issues so strong that she is only comfortable having sex in the missionary position. When I try somthing as simple as having …

Why Does My Therapist Stare at Me? Not rated yet
30y/o white male.I recently quit going to a therapist I was seeing for dysthymia. I felt uncomfortable when the therapist would stare at me, silently, …

Stuck and Needing to Make Money Not rated yet
Hi - I owned a small restaurant business with my husband for seven years. We shut the business down in 2003. Since then I've done lots of different schooling, …

Not really a question, just thought you might be interested in this Not rated yet
I found your web site about two years ago. It was a great find and really helped me a lot. I found some online poetry groups that I could work towards …

Grief and Depression Not rated yet
Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He lost his father suddenly 6 years ago. In that time his mother has gotten progressively worse with …

Exchanging Services for Therapy Not rated yet
A therapist is treating a young adolescent who has mild mental retardation. He demonstrates serious peer relation problems (i.e. his classmates pick on …

Anxiety, Depressed, Bipolar or just Making Excuses? Not rated yet
I think i may be depressed. I have a very difficult time falling asleep and often take several hours to do so, and when i do fall asleep i wake up many …

Loss of Enjoyment of Life / Boredom Not rated yet
I have been feeling for the last 10 years of complete boredom with everything. I try many different things and tried diferent hobbies, but nothing helps. …

Supressed. memories Not rated yet
I have an irrational fear of being raped. Sometimes when I am intimate with my boyfriend it feels wrong and it hurts, but not physically. Is it possible …

Depression and Intense Worrying Not rated yet
Hi. What must I do to stop and control intense worrying that could lead to severe depression? Ben's Answer: Besides talking to a therapist, what …

Grandchild in an unstable home. Not rated yet
I am in my late 40's have a granddaughter (Ally) who by no fault of her own has a mother who is 17 now. My son was 22 at the time of her conception and …

What should i do about my baby's abusive father? Not rated yet
I just got out of an almost 4 year relationship. i was with him since i was 14 and im 18 now. we are the same age. i got pregnant when i was 16 and had …

Unresolved Childhood Abuse Not rated yet
I'm in my late 40's now and grew up in a abusive and neglectful home. Looking back I feel abandoned. From time to time anxiety comes over me. I have a …

negativity Not rated yet
I have been accused of alluding a negative attitude to those working around me. I do not agree with this apraisal and believe it is more seeing the reality …

Stressed - Everyone's Moving Into My House! Not rated yet
New boyfriend in the house,, moved in, I have a 16 year old son, him and his girlfriend will be having a baby in 4 months she will be moving in with us; …

Lost in Severe Depression Not rated yet
I feel lost. I feel that I have lost myself. I've been really down and sad for the past 6 months for no reason at all. I feel that there's a huge amount …

Suspected Infidelity Not rated yet
My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We are both in our early thirties and have 2 children. We have a history of not fighting fairly when …

How to confront my fiance about her drinking Not rated yet
Hi~ Thank you SO much for the work you do. I am thinking of looking into meridian tapping to help me and my fiance. She was diagnosed with bipolar, …

Possible Sexual Abuse?  Not rated yet
I've been married for almost 6 years now. We have never been able to have a normal sexual relationship. I seem to have no sex drive and when we do have …

inner self Not rated yet
How do I get in touch with my inner self and stay there? Thank you, Yashi Ben's Answer: The simplest questions are also the hardest to answer! …

Irritable Boyfriend Not rated yet
I have been dating this guy for about 2 months. Well we all know that all relationships often start perfectly and everyone is so nice to each other. This …

Troubled Little Sister... Not rated yet
My little sister is 14 and is, very rebellious, defiant, mean and all around a nasty girl, I am 20 and I just could never imagine treating our mother the …

Significant Others of Abuse Victims Not rated yet
I am in a very serious relationship with my best friend of 12 years. We have been together the better part of 2 years and it has really been a struggle. …

Lying and Binging Not rated yet
I have three problems that are basically connected. Firstly, I steal. Not big things- i steal the food of my apartment mates. I don't want to- i know it's …

"Release Technique" Not rated yet
Hello, Your site is a Godsend. I wish I were able to see you locally and use my insurance! Do you have any experience with the Release Technique? …

I lied and need to set the record straight Not rated yet
On one of our first dates, I lied to my partner about which campus of U of Michigan I attended. I said I attended Ann Arbor, but really went to UM -Dearborn. …

Mood Swings Not rated yet
Hi... I am 16 yrs old and I suffer from mood swings every single week(for 5 months now).I lose my nerves and snap at people, in the course of the last …

Sports Performance and Competition Not rated yet
I play volleyball on a gold, division 1 team and last year i had an injury that put me out for 10 months. This season coming back in i was little behind …

Nibblets of information (Oral fixations) Not rated yet
I have dated many men, but with my current boyfriend I find myself gnawing on either his arm, shoulder or chest. I have never done this before and it just …

Alone Not rated yet
I've been feeling really empty lately and I have no one to talk to. My parents think that I have everything in the world and that I should feel happy but …

Screwed up and open to suggestions Not rated yet
I have not been diagnosed with depression, but I know the signs. Besides the obvious such as not wanting to go anywhere, do anything, see anybody, the …

Still not over it Not rated yet
A three month relationship that ended 27 years ago , I still am haunted by. The circumstances were personally traumatic for me and regardless of subsequent …

How to get someone to try tapping? Not rated yet
I have seen this process work for myself and others. My daughter is depressed and does not seem open to tapping. How can I get her to at least try it? …

Depressed and need memory help. Not rated yet
I've been dealing with depression for years. I had a miserable middle school and high school experience. I am now 19 and a sophomore in college. Last year …

Spiraling Down Relationship Not rated yet
I've been in a relationship for 16 years now. We're at a low point that doesn't seem to end. Resentment is prevalent in the relationship. My partner resents …

Manic and Obnoxious Not rated yet
My 23 year old stepdaughter, fresh out of an abusive relationship, diagnosed with bipolar years ago, recently moved in with us. Currently have her with …

job and money issues Not rated yet
How can I allow myself leave a job which is below my skills and education? This job pays a small wage and is an on-call job, but I feel that I at least …

guilt, fear, and cyberstalking Not rated yet
I got pregnant about a year ago and my fiance is definitely the father. However before I got pregnant (waaay before) during my relationship with my fiance …

Past Life Regression Not rated yet
I am new to your website/newsletter, and am very interested in EFT/Meridian Tapping to change my early perceptions, and hopefully help me overcome several …

Friends and Cutting Not rated yet
Hi im 11 years old and my name is Vanessa. My friend has got in 5 fights so far and getting bad grades and making me change a lot. Should i stop being …

Recovering from infidelity Not rated yet
It has been about 9 months since I found out there was "another woman" in my husband and my relationship (we have been married for nearly 12 years). While …

15 year old Thumb Sucking Not rated yet
how do you stop a 15 year old from sucking their thumb? Ben's Answer: Some people suck their thumb through their teen years. As you probably have …

Mom is going crazy Not rated yet
I am hoping that some may be able to provide insight for me on how I can help my mother and know what shes going through. She is 49 years old, 50 this …

How can I make a living from drum therapy? Not rated yet
Hello, I'm a drummer and I've started doing drum workshops for people with learning difficulties. The few sessions that I've done have gone really well …

EFT/Meridian Tapping - what do you say? Not rated yet
Can I ask you what you say while tapping? I thought I heard that you are to repeat 7 times each section, side of hand, head, by the brow, side of eye, …

Breaking the cycle of resentment in an abusive relationship Not rated yet
I am a lesbian in a committed relationship. We have been together for almost 16 years. We have had many ups and downs but I feel I am holding resentment …

Domestic Abuse? Not rated yet
My husband and I had an argument in which I continually asked him to stop talking to me because he was making me angry. He continued to get "in my face" …

confused. Not rated yet
When I was either five or six, my mom took me to her friend's family party. I had had a kids-type of crush on my mom's friend's brother (who was at the …

Wife threatening to leave Not rated yet
hello, my name is Justin and me and my wife are having pretty major problems. It's about my parents who live across the street from us; She thinks they …

What do I do? Not rated yet
You said I should talk to somebody I trust about my depressed feelings.. The only person I can possibly trust is my teacher who has been absent for more …

paranoid schizophrenia Not rated yet
I've been on medication for 4.5 years. Doctors said i have paranoid schizophrenia. How long more should i take medication or do i have to stay on it for …

Teen Depression Not rated yet
I am in my early-teen years, I have very frequent mood swings accompanied by the signs of teen depression. Most of the time I am really depressed but for …

Humor Therapy Not rated yet
How are you today? My name is Buruk, and I am a High school student, I am currently taking Med Prep. I am doing a project on Humor Therapy, which involves …

Abused Without Being "Abused" Not rated yet
I have a long history that I will try to sum up briefly. I have a somewhat neglectful childhood, but nothing that seems bad enough to have really contributed …

Moving too fast - no time for the soul Not rated yet
Thanks a lot for your very quick response to my worry. I would like to clarify that I speak a bit fast since childhood. From quite sometime, there has …

Borderline Personality Disorder and Self Awareness Not rated yet
I am 24 years old and therapists have gone back and forth about whether or not I have Borderline Personality Disorder. The diagnosis was initially on my …

Difficulty in speaking and writing due to depression Not rated yet
Dear All, I have been enjoying a very good academic and business career along with a good family life. I am aged 36. Since quite some time, I feel some …

Could I be suffering from ADD? Not rated yet
I am not sure who to ask this question before seeking actual care. I think I may be suffereing from ADD. Lately, I can't seem to concentrate on anything. …

Ghosts Not rated yet
Is it possible that my fear of ghosts is rubbing off on my 3 yr old because every night shes afraid of "monsters in her room"? Ben's Answer: It's …

Teenage Sexuality Not rated yet
Is it normal for a 15 year old male to be attracted to members of the same sex? Before puberty, I was attracted to girls my age and now, I fantasize about …

Depression Medication Not Helping Chronic Depression Not rated yet
I have tried virtually every depression medication out there over the last 15 years , In combo with each other etc. I'm 54 and can't seem to get a positive …

Very Conflicted About Sex Drive Not rated yet
I am a very isolated young adult, but I am happy and have no real urge to change this. My problem is that I have a very active sex drive, but no desire …

Trust - Part 2 Not rated yet
You recommended that I should speak to an adult about how I felt... Actually today my teacher saw me standing alone during the school break and she started …

adolescent depression Not rated yet
I have been going through mood swings for the last 8 or 9 weeks, sometimes I was fine but others I felt terrible and it is difficult to get out of bed …

I Hate Myself for Loving My Therapist Not rated yet
Hello, since I figured out and disclosed my transference feelings to my therapist, I'm confused if therapy will work for me like it did before. My therapist …

Teen Depression Not rated yet
My 15 yr old was diagnosed with depression and was prescribed Zoloft. I heard that this drug has a black box for teens and young adults. The psychiatrist …

Always disappointed by people Not rated yet
If everything in your life seems to go wrong is it exclusively your own fault? When friends disappoint you, while your relationships with the other sex …

Help Me. Not rated yet
There are so many things I would like to touch down on I do not know where to begin. I feel like a half person, a failure, of little more worth than nothing. …

Suicidal Not rated yet
I have been diagnosed as having depression for more than a year now. I see a therapist and am taking medicine. I have tried more than six antidepressants …

Should I take a break from my boyfriend? Not rated yet
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 4 years (since i was 19) We have the greatest relationship. We get along great, we never fight and he is …

I Live for Danger. What is wrong with me?  Not rated yet
I was fine in my early youth, I got good grades and was even social. But, as I got older I changed. I was separated from all six of my siblings by my father, …

Why does my heart feel like it's imploding? Not rated yet
Ben, For most of my life I've wrestled with my emotional issues, many of them have to do with being left behind by many of the people I've cared about …

Daughter is afraid controlling father Not rated yet
how can I help my daughter stop being so afraid of her controlling father? He is very controlling and she is not getting to have a normal kid life at the …

How do I tell my mom I want a therapist? Not rated yet
How do i tell my mom I'm depressed and that I want a therapist? I wish I could tell her but I know she'd think it's stupid because she thinks it's dumb …

Sad but why? Not rated yet
Sometimes I get this heavy hearted feeling like I become sad and feel like I'm gonna cry. But I don't always cry and when I do it's only for about 2-5 …

Why is it so hard for me to get started? Not rated yet
I've been playing bass guitar on and off for about 3 years. I don't know why its so hard for me to practice. I want to be perfect right away and I don't …

Can a Childhood Trauma Cause Bipolar Disorder?  Not rated yet
Can you get bipolar due to you going through a horrible tragedy as a child and never finding peace with your self? Ben's Answer: Yes and No. Bipolar …

Relationship Honesty Not rated yet
Before I got married I told my wife I had a threesome with two women, I told her to never ask me this question again. She admitted to me yesterday that …

Social Anxiety  Not rated yet
I think I have social anxiety disorder. I'm 18 and in college starting again on tuesday. I hate going. I don't talk to anyone in classes, I have nothing …

How to solve depression without pills??? Not rated yet
I'm sleeping and crying all the time, and walking alone in this open field because I choose to, and poetry club only because my teacher is the only one …

My 6 yr old "opens up" - false abuse allegations Not rated yet
I will try to sum this up in a short form for you.... I have a 6 yr. old son that is very sociable, happy & well rounded child. He recently went to visit …

I'm in love with an abuser I left over a year ago Not rated yet
Five years ago I met a Man on his birthday, I had just gotten out of a four year common law relationship, followed by a year of meeting one loser after …

Trust Not rated yet
My wife's friends asked her if she wanted to go to Florida for a week without their husbands. I'm not OK with that but i know she will resent me for it, …

Depressed about life, too busy to help myself. Not rated yet
I am in Pharmacy school, and it is a very busy program. Per semester we average about 9 courses, with extra presentations outside of class time, and I …

Constant massaging head and hands of spouse in public Not rated yet
My sister-in-law who got married about a year ago, is always touching her husband in public, constantly, when we are at my mother-in-law's house, where …

How can I help my niece as her Mom is suicidal? Not rated yet
Hello, I need some assistance and guidance. My niece is thirteen years old and over the last five years her Mom has been living with depression. Recently, …

Native English Speaker Not rated yet
I don't know if a therapist is who I would ask for help about this topic, but I don't know who else to ask. I've been noticing this for a long time, but …

ADD, Bipolar, or Spiritual Crisis? Not rated yet
Is there any relation between the symptoms of add/adhd and bipolar syndrom and spiritual crisis? Because they seem similar. I am quite confused, but I …

Nylon Fetish Not rated yet
I have been seeing a therapist. She brought up the subject of sex. Then she asked me if I had any fetishes, and I told her yes a fetish for nylons. She …

Trapped In Her Mind? Not rated yet
My best friend, who is 17 claims that she is 'trapped' in her own mind and mood. She used to be able to open up to me about anything, now she can't talk …

Am I suicidal if I have thoughts about jumping off of a building? Not rated yet
It makes me very nervous to think about jumping or falling from a really high place. When I think about falling (or visualize it), I start to shake and …

Physical Contact Not rated yet
Is it normal to feel physical pain due to lack of physical contact from your husband? Is it also normal to withdraw under these circumstances as there …

Second Guessing Oneself / Driving Myself Crazy Not rated yet
Sometimes I ask myself a question, think about it, answer myself and then I go back and try to remember the question I asked and can't remember. If I …

Not Using the Bathroom Not rated yet
My 15 year old refuses to go to the bathroom or drink liquids of any kind. She says she hates going to the bathroom and we do not understand this behavior. …

Sudden Change in Sleep Causes Depressed Feelings? Not rated yet
I used to sleep all day or only for a few hours a day for a month. A few days ago I abruptly changed my sleep times and slept at night. I feel messed up …

Will Holistic Treatment Work for my Major Depression? Not rated yet
I was divorced 6 months ago and was really depressed. I am now on 150 mg Effexor and I am still feeling depressed. I had 3 months of therapy that helped. …

Anxious Self-Centered Friend Not rated yet
I have a friend who has a few issues. She has been seeing a therapist for over 8 years now and she has some anxious tendencies. She cannot sit still, she …

Afraid of Losing my Therapist Not rated yet
I have a wonderful therapist that I have been seeing for about 3 years now. He has helped me through a lot of stuff and been there for me. He is the …

Delayed Symptoms From Combat Not rated yet
Is it possible to start having bad symptoms after being home for several years after serving in combat? Ben's Answer: Yes it is possible and it …

He Cheated and Now Cannot Touch Me Not rated yet
He cheated a year ago with a "Fatal Attraction" type woman. I forgave him and we have been trying to work things out. We have been together for ten years. …

Problem with my Fiance Not rated yet
I'm a female - 25 years old...engaged and getting married in about 2-3 months ... with my boyfriend who I've known since I was 16 years. He is older than …

Dealing with elderly Father Not rated yet
My father is 85 and he remarried after my Mother passed away. I get along fine with his wife and him except for the fact that he calls me with all of …

College Not rated yet
I've been attending the University of Texas at Dallas for the last 3 years as an accounting major. My first year, I had some organizational problems and …

Making choices/finish what You Start Not rated yet
How do you make it easier to make decisions?.. I've tried to go to school so many times.. I never finish a single semester.. I drop the classes never …

I Was Abused As A Child Not rated yet
When I was 9 or 10, I was molested by a couple of older, teenage boys. My parents had never talked to me about sex and I really didn't know what was right …

I cant get rid of these thoughts! Not rated yet
I always think I am doing something wrong or bad and that I should be ashamed of myself. I always think that what I do effects the outcome of my day, …

Shyness Not rated yet
Hello, I'm a very confident person but when I get the feeling that a guy likes me I have to push him away or ignore him, basically do anything that would …

Fear of Commitment Not rated yet
I've had this weird issue with guys my entire life. I love the chase and beginning stages of hooking up with someone but once I realize it is no longer …

Wife in Love with Her Old Roommate? Not rated yet
I have learned that my wife's old roommate has found her online. They were very good friends that lived and worked together. I read their emails and …

Bipolar Loved One in Denial Not rated yet
When a family member is suspected of being Bipolar - what is the best way to approach/treat our loved one? Our loved one does not see the signs and symptoms …

Partner Asking for Time Not rated yet
What does it mean when your girl friend is asking for some time?? Ben's Answer : Rule #1 - don't pretend to know what girls mean when they say mysterious …

Can 7-Year-Olds Have Anxiety? Not rated yet
My 7 year old girl has what seems to be panic attacks. She fears everything, death, Hell, the dark, ghosts, being alone, going upstairs by herself... she …

Paranoid or Just Anxious? Not rated yet
Ok I'm a 15 year old male and I think I suffer from a paranoia disorder. I have searched anxiety/paranoia disorders on the internet but none of them match …

In Love with my Best Friend Not rated yet
I have known a girl for about 6 years. I have always liked her. She tells me I am her best friend. Even though I have feelings for her we have both …

Overwhelmed with Creativity  Not rated yet
I'm writing a book or at least I think I am. I believe it to be great and something of beauty. Problems is, it's curing and affecting my thinking at the …

Too Late to Resolve Sexual Abuse? Not rated yet
I was molested as a child. Sexually assaulted by a family member at age 15. I have never told anyone about these things and I never will tell anyone in …

Boyfriend Can't Get It Up Not rated yet
I have been dating a guy for 5 months, we have never had intercourse because he cant seem to get it up or when he does it goes flat fast. I have asked …

Schizophrenia or Bipolar? Not rated yet
I think I have schizophrenia or bipolar. One minute I'm fine and then I'm in love with my best friend and go crazy and cry, but something triggers it, …

What is a Hero? Not rated yet
What is the true defination of a hero? Ben's Answer : Someone who transcends her own limitations, risks everything, and forgets herself, while helping …

Reactive Attachment Disorder Not rated yet
I am a 15 year old girl who was adopted at the age of 5 and I was wondering if it is possible for me to have RAD (reactive attachment disorder). I tend …

Break-Up Advice Not rated yet
I have a 14 month old son with my ex-partner. I split with him 2 years ago after having been with him 3 years, as he was violent and aggressive. One year …

Young Wife and Mother Not rated yet
I'm 21 married and I have a 9 month old. We got pregnant and jumped into a marriage, because that's what you are supposed to do. I don't think I love my …

Suicidal Friend... Not rated yet
I am a 16 year old male who has been involved with a girl my age for about a year. I recently broke it off because we had been arguing. Following the …

Drugs in a relationship Not rated yet
I've known this girl for a long time, going on 7 years now, and both of us are in college now. We recently just became mush closer as she used to live …

Child of Divorce Not rated yet
My nine year old niece was happy and nothing was going on with her until a couple months ago. Her parents are divorced so her father gets her every-other …

Ethical Query Not rated yet
If you had a client who confided in you and told you he had an STD and was sexually active with his partner, how would you go about the situation? …

Family Problems Not rated yet
I am 16 years old. Ever since summer I have not been getting along as well with my parents. I have never had particularly high self-esteem; during the …

I Always Have to Find a Problem  Not rated yet
I need serious help. My last relationship lasted 5 years. During the third year he cheated on me. I forgave him but would always bring it up. Like I fed …

Respect Within the Couple Not rated yet
Hello, My boyfriend's got an old friend from Uni (female friend, recently married) who since we've started going out has used every opportunity to offend …

Kissing Not rated yet
My boy friend does not like to kiss. He is a great guy and a person of strong positive character. He is really fun and adventurous. He is also quite …

How Can I Help? Not rated yet
I have been dating a guy on and off for a year. He is a good person, he has a good heart but he has many emotional issues that have been destructive to …

I Get Weak When People Touch Me Not rated yet
Hi, I wanted to know if you had any ideas of why it feels like I get weak when people touch me? My mother says it is all in my head, but is it? Ben's …

Breaking Apart Inside Not rated yet
When in therapy and things get difficult i feel like I break apart inside, into many pieces, I bring myself back together by focusing on the repetitive …

Can't Let Go of Bad Things Not rated yet
When ever something bad has happened I either get depressed and think out revenge (although I have never done it) or I believe it is my fault (although …

If you found this Ask a Therapist forum helpful, please let me know!

The information on this site, including responses to questions posted on the Ask-a-Therapist page, is not meant to be a substitute for psychotherapy or evaluation by a mental health professional. Responses on this site or this page do not imply a therapist-client relationship, and should not be taken as medical advice or therapy. If you are having thoughts or impulses to commit suicide, please call 1-800-SUICIDE, or call 911, or visit:

 Suicide Hotlines

Share this page:
Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.