Three shades of Orange

by amanda
(northern california)

metamorphosis

metamorphosis

A seeker, mother, wife, daughter, aunt, friend, etc..dropped away from a spontaneous awakening on October 8, 2005. Through the eyes of a catalyst, the Divine entered and it felt like a "love beyond words" never had been experienced. The Gift has stayed with me now since this special night over 9 years ago. In fact, this Gift has led me onto a path of self-inquiry and cleaning up my life. From a "stepford wife" to a conscious and holistic seeker the change was very profound.


A new person had come to live in this body and she had to reparent herself. Remembering a Biblical passage: "And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven". This passage I understood very well because I had become a child again with new eyes and in the body of an adult who had memories as well as many experiences.

I shook for over 4.5 years. My body was responding to this newness and all it could do was shake. New, this was the feeling throughout. I sought a therapist and a psychiatrist to help with the separation my husband and I were now going through. The "awakening" I attribute to finally reaching a point of mental meltdown. Prior to October 8, 2005, my husband, after 24 years wanted a divorce. Numb, this was how I felt. We attempted marriage counseling, but to no avail on his part. No one was good enough. No, I had no idea what was up because I was in total denial of myself. His best friend was in a Triathalon, had a heat stroke and a week later he died. We went to be with his wife and children in the hospital. Days later on October 8, 2005, the awakening happened. Life changed so quickly in that moment as if I leaped off a cliff and dove into a beautiful rainbow. Alive, I am alive. All my senses were heightened. None of this has changed. There had been a void in my soul and this void was filled, completely.

There is so much more to say and share. I have journaled, painted, traveled and sketched, I cannot tell you how amazing these past 9 years have been. To be alive experiencing life is a gift. Never realized the journey would be such an adventure.

I now live over 3000 miles from where I grew up and lived in a former life. There was a need and urgency to start from scratch.

There is grief over the past life sometimes and a desire for those whom I left would understand and support the "awakening" I went through and still am going through.


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Nov 10, 2014
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changes
by: Anonymous

Thank you for commenting on my post and sharing your similar story. When the awakening occurred, I realized this is probably is happening to people all over the world. To this day, I believe most of those who were my friends and family thought I had gone crazy. I just sat with Saraswathi Ma in shasta. Her awakening is almost identical to my awakening.


Nov 07, 2014
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The journey is the destination!
by: Anonymous

I experienced a similar awakening, though I'm still learning how to put it all Into action that changes my external circumstances. But I too went from stepford wife, living in denial, not knowing my own needs or worth, basing self worth on the image of perfection I cpuld project and the opinions of others who thought I had everything together. Once that illusion shattered people never looked at me the same, but I was free.

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