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I forgot to report that I did bring this to the attention of my therapist at our next session, and, while awkward, it went very well. He did validate that it was in no way 'me' or anything I said or did and took total ownership -- he said that sometimes he "forgets what hat he wears" and also that he can be "flippant." He said it was the end of the day, and he just wasn't thinking; he'd say the same thing to a guy. He apologized profusely and we went on with the session.
The whole experience was really beneficial for me to be able to confront something unpleasant without choosing to either block it out, get secretly angry and offended, or just end the relationship. It does in fact change our patient-therapist relationship I think though, and I do wonder if deep down he's a little more cautious and maybe resentful because I brought to light something that he did do wrong. I know the logic in this -- the "it's not my fault" but I am just being frank about it; I just know human nature and we don't like to be reminded of the fact that we screwed up. I'm just sensing a bit of a tension or reserve on his part in our sessions now, but I guess we'll work through it. Obviously, it was getting too familiar and nonprofessional anyway.
This is all a good lesson too in that I see that he too is human. I wanted so much to trust, to learn, to heal, that I put him on this god-like pedastal and was really thrown for a loop when this all occurred. It has taught me to stop the black-and-white thinking and I've moved a little step toward overall effective conflict resolution. I think it was all organic, in some strange way...
Thanks again, Ben. :)
Ben's response:
Excellent insights! Great job!
Jul 24, 2010 Rating
Thanks, Ben! by: Anonymous
I am the author of the above comment. Let me say, I just caught my own Freudian slip in there when I wrote "feel" up instead of "feet." It is quite funny. But that is what I tend to do too: make a joke out of an important thing to get away from being uncomfortable about it...
Thank you, Ben, so very much -- I agree totally with your advice and am going to take it. I absolutely have fear that he may get defensive, etc., but I am going to do it for my own growth and leave his reaction on him and he must own that.
I am scared, as this is new territory for me, but I feel good about the decision. I will post the results next week.
Ben's Response
You're welcome... and I noticed that Freudian slip too. :) It's good to be able to laugh at ourselves.
