Stressed - Everyone's Moving Into My House!

by Theresa Byrne
(Owensboro KY)

New boyfriend in the house,, moved in, I have a 16 year old son, him and his girlfriend will be having a baby in 4 months she will be moving in with us; new boyfriend has liver cancer,,, what should i do?

Ben's Answer:

It sounds like you've set yourself up to be the caretaker. If you feel that you are the only person that your sick boyfriend and your son can go to for support, and you've agreed to this arrangement, then you need to strengthen your resolve, and do everything you can to take care of your stress.

Living mindfully - meaning in the Present Moment, day by day, with self-awareness, non-judgment and acceptance, would be a very good stance to take. Future tripping will get you nowhere.

Setting boundaries is critical. You can't be nurse to your family members 24/7. You have to have a life too. This means you need to set the rules. Be the Queen of the house. Make hours and times that are yours and yours alone. During your time you should do whatever makes you feel healthier and more relaxed. Exercise, journaling, reading...

I strongly recommend a daily meditation practice - even if it's only 20-30 minutes a day (with NO intrusions).
Yoga would be another extremely useful practice (for emotional, mental, and physical health) to reduce stress and increase energy.

And Meridian Tapping/EFT would be one of the most useful tools you could use for stress, worry, fear and basically any emotional barrier (and would also be extremely valuable for your boyfriend, and for your son's girlfriend to use for pregnancy and mothering issues). If you learn it for yourself, then you can use it as a healing tool to help your family too.

Best Wishes,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
Santa Rosa Psychotherapist

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