still in love with ex boyfriend

by alex
(cincinnati )

Hello. I am an 18 year old girl and starting college in the fall. Recently i have been talking to an ex boyfriend. We had been dating for almost 4 years when we broke up.

its been a year since we broke up and we have been talking for some time. we admitted that we are still in love with each other, but i am scared to jump back into a relationship.
plus, my family doesnt like him but i want to be happy.
should i listen to my family or follow my heart?

Ben's Answer:

Even when other people give us good, well-intentioned advice, your heart is always a better guide. If you base your life decisions on what other people want, or don't want, like or don't like, you will slowly lose touch with your own feelings and intuition.

But on another note -- maybe you owe it to yourself to explore your freedom first. You're going to college - life is opening up. Remember the quote "if you love someone set them free... if they come back to you, they're yours... if they don't, then they never were." Yes, a little dramatic and sentimental - but there's wisdom in this idea.

A relationship held together by fear or insecurity will always go sour. Trust your feelings but don't limit yourself either.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
Santa Rosa Psychotherapist











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