Shyness

by Nada
(Egypt)

Hello, I'm a very confident person but when I get the feeling that a guy likes me I have to push him away or ignore him, basically do anything that would make him UNlove me. Recently I met a guy at my college that I really like and I know he likes me back, but he is exactly like me, he's confident around his friends and when he's around me it becomes very awkward so when we're around each other we would usually ignore each other but always looking over and smile and sometimes flirt, we feel comfortable when we're in groups I think. It's really weird.


Usually when a guy likes me he will try to work through my shyness to finally get me comfortable with him and a lot of guys just give up. I don't want him to give up. It's also not always like that, sometimes we talk but the times when we're alone it becomes so uncomfortable that we both chicken out or say stuff we don't need to say. Any advice?

Ben's Answer:

The best way to cope with shyness is to admit that you are shy. Because the more you try to pretend that you're not shy, the more uncomfortable and vulnerable you feel. I suggest handling it head on. If you do have some interaction or conversation with this guy, I bet it would be a lot more comfortable if you just stated the obvious, like, "I'm a really shy person, if you haven't already noticed, so don't give up on me."
Or something like that. When you admit to another person that you're afraid, fear usually diminishes.

It would probably be a relief to him too, because it would take some of the pressure off of him and he might open up more about his own feelings.

Another thing you could try on your own, is using EFT to resolve your fears about talking to him. It can be very effective for this sort of thing. (There's lots of info about the EFT technique on this website).

Don't give up!

Best wishes,
Ben

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