Relationship Problems and Pregnant

by Lauren
(Illinois)

I am 18 and my bf is 21. we are expecting our first child and this relationship is a constant battle, we fight over EVERYTHING and it isn't getting better, and its always my fault if anything goes wrong in our relationship. Should i stay or should i go?

Is this a worse environment for a child then being raised by a single parent?

Ben's Answer:

This is impossible for me to answer. Lots of couples fight. It's not good for a child. If it's really abusive - verbally, emotionally or physically - and you don't get serious help - like from a therapist - it often gets worse. You don't want to raise a child in an abusive home.

But if there's any desire in both of you to try to make it work, then you owe it to yourselves and you child to get help. A couple's counselor would be the place to start. It has to be a mutual effort. If you're willing to work on making it better and take responsibility for your part - he needs to do the same or it won't work.

But in any case, you'll need help. Nobody can raise a healthy child alone. If you're not with the father, you'll need to find others who can help you.

Wishing you the best,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
Santa Rosa Psychotherapist