Recurring Nightmares About My Family

by Aileen
(Hoffman Estates Il USA)

When I was little, my older sister was very jealous of me. She will tell you that now. She used to tell my cousins not to play with me and I always got locked out of things. She told people in eighth grade I was going to be a whore, just to keep people away from me.


Anyway, I constantly have nightmares, that my family never believes my feelings and thinks she is the best. ...when they ignore me in the dream I start breaking things and going crazy which just adds to their justification that I'm full of shit.

In reality, I'm very popular - a leader for most things and a loving being. I love to help others and make others happy. It is my favorite thing to do. I have wise thoughts and people are drawn to me.

Please note I am very sensitive. I don't like peoples meanness and I pick up on negative energy very easy.

In real life I have the respect of my family, although they are much less sensitive than me. We are a popular loving family. In my dreams I dream my husband doesn't care either. I don't know how to stop these dreams... I'm 49 and they seem to be happening weekly. A couple years ago they were only once in a while. They're starting to really bring me down.

I am already taking Cymbalta and Wellbutrin for stress and Fybromyalgia.

I never have bad dreams about my children who are 26 and 17.

Ben's Answer:

Aileen, dreams are an expression of all of who we are - especially those "shadow" parts of us that we find unacceptable to ourselves in daily waking life. It sounds like you are still carrying some old emotional trauma related to the way your sister treated you as a child. And it sounds like anger is the key emotion that is being revealed in these nightmares. If these dreams are increasing, then it's a clear sign that it is time to heal that trauma.

If you've come to identify yourself as a kind, wise, loving, sensitive person - all of which is no doubt true -- perhaps you've disowned your anger in the process. Maybe it's time to give that anger a way to be expressed and released.

One of the best ways I know to release old emotional baggage is EFT/Meridian Tapping. Sometimes this sort of childhood trauma can be completely released in one session. You can learn to do this on your own, or with the help of a therapist or coach that uses EFT.

EFT neutralizes disturbing memories (or you can even focus on the rage you feel in your dreams) so that those thoughts and memories cease to evoke those old feelings of hurt, abandonment and rage. Then your energy will be free to be expressed in positive, good, loving feelings towards yourself and others. EFT could also be a way to heal the Fibromyalgia - which is a common physical-level manifestation of emotional trauma for many people.

When these things surface in dreams, it's a good sign that you are being given an opportunity for healing and living a more full and happy life.

Best wishes,
Ben Schwarcz