Perfectionism

by Jack
(Michigan)

How do i get over Perfectionism? I feel like it just needs to end or i cant go on.

Ben's Anwwer:

Perfectionism is an impossible ideal, a sinister trap that will ruin your life. Nothing is "perfect" in nature or in life on Earth. The imperfections are what make things beautiful, interesting, and exciting. If we were all perfect there would be no more comedians. What would they have to laugh about? If we were all perfect why would anyone ever help one another? What would anyone be motivated by? If we all looked "perfect" what would that look like? Would we all look like air brushed fashion models? We'd be bored to death with ourselves!

Being disciplined or organized, is a skill that can be learned. But it has nothing to do with being perfect. Self discipline is valuable; Learning to not be a slave to sense pleasures is valuable. Perfectionism is a self-critical, anxiety producing thought that has no end, so it will cause you to always be a failure in your own eyes. It's the duality: If you try to be perfect, you'll be a failure. If you delude yourself into thinking you're a saint, your dark side will eventually come out with equal force; If you repress anything within yourself, it will come back with twice as much force later.

Go easy, learn to let go; Express the things that perfect people don't express and do the things that perfect people never do - and you'll find yourself to be a much happier person.

Perfectionism is usually instilled in us from an early age, so the habit is often unconscious. One of the best ways to resolve it at it's core, is Meridian Tapping/EFT. That would be my first choice of methods to use to undo the habit of perfectionist thinking.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT


Santa Rosa Psychotherapist

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