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I'm 20 years old girl and I have one elder brother ,younger sister........When I'm small my mom used to say always I'm a trouble to her and blame in soooo cruel words........always it's on my mind. Whatever happens to me there's no one for me, either my mom or dad.They had their own works and don't care where I am going r doing.But the worse part is they care about my brother and sister. I'm not jealousy....But it's very difficult to bare it. I have lot of friends, but they only comes to me when they want a help from me.So I have no trust about anyone.At times I'm thinking why I born to this world. I search why this happen to me? Only reason is I'm so ugly . That's why they don't care about me. Not only my parents but all are like this. I don't know what to do?? when I am in society I feel big difference of me and them. But who want me to live in this life. And also all guys like very beautiful, forward, romantic girls, although they are not good in their character all are like them......so what the purpose of living me in this life. There's no one for me......I had a boyfriend and he used to say that I'm not so fashionable and he felt nothing when he is with me..but I'm not angry with him. Maybe it's true. But how can I change my life??? Please advise me.
Ben's Response
The greatest emotional pain in this world comes when we blame ourselves for not getting the love we needed from our parents. I've met women who could be high fashion models, who truly believe they are ugly. I've known people who have killed themselves because they felt so unlovable and unworthy that they had no hope. These are great tragedies. Senseless losses. Children are born with unique personality traits and levels of sensitivity and resiliency. One sibling often feels abandoned while another feels loved, raised in the same environment. On the other hand, unfortunately, many parents do treat one child differently than another, and even abuse or neglect one while spoiling the other. This is a defect in the parent, not the child. Most children automatically blame themselves for the problems in their family.
Challenge your mind! Challenge your thoughts! This self-image you've taken yourself to be is a lie. Your self-loathing thoughts are a distortion and have no basis on reality. We all deserve love. We all ARE Love. Anytime we feel something other than peace and love, it is because the mind is filled with habitual thoughts that diminish and define, and blind us to our true limitless essence. Nobody in this world is unlovable. Don't make yourself a victim. Learn to focus on your deepest inner Truth. Meditate and find spiritual inspiration through whatever path or tradition makes sense to you. The answers will not be found in your self-judgments, not in how fashionable you try to be, not in your thoughts about yourself. Truth is beyond the mind completely. When thoughts stop, there is only bliss. Never give up.
Feb 06, 2011 Rating
jasmine's answer by: Anonymous
In response to Jasmines comments about not feeling loved....My own mother was verbally and physically abusive. I began to sing this song to my self and I laugh about it to this day.....the more you sing it, the better you feel; it goes "I love myself, I love myself, I love myself....." any time your mom or dad or anyone says negative or demeaning comments to you, sing this song in your head and repeat it 20 times a day and I guarantee you....eventually you will love yourself and smile when you sing it....and Jasmine; you know you love yourself!
