Comments for My Bipolar Husband Wont Get Help

May 03, 2010
Rating

I am going through the same
by: Tamara

My second Husband of three years was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder when he was young. He refuses to take medication and binges on alcohol. I am also at the point where I need to leave this relationship. When he is low he tends to be very verbally and emotionally abusive. I almost think that because he is not happy he doesn't want me to be. I am wondering if his problem is something worse then bi polar. Some times he is so cruel that I am just shocked at the things he says. He has spit in my face 2 times and wakes up the next day like nothing happens. I have had the police to my house 3 times because he was screaming so loud at me. All they do is try and make me go to a shelter but, I feel that I should be able to keep my home. My child is grown up so I don't have her to worry about. before we were married he was a wonderful man and I swear; the very day we married he changed. he also has a lot of stomach related health problems. I know that when I try to leave it is going to be so horrible. I know he will do anything to make my life difficult if I leave. I grew up in a happy home and have a lot of family who care a lot about me. I am almost afraid he will try to hurt me some day. It just seems like the police will not do anything to help until they find you dead. I wish they could forceful take him to a psychiatric ward so he can get help.

Lonely and miserable, Tamara

Ben's Comment:

Just because a person has Bipolar Disorder doesn't excuse them from having to be a decent human being. Even if your husband doesn't remember spitting in your face when you tell him the next day - he should be bending over backwards to make sure he doesn't do it again. If he's binging on alcohol and refusing to treat his Bipolar disorder and his wife is telling him that he's being abusive - then he's an alcoholic in denial. And he's an abuser. Whether bipolar or not.

Bipolar disorder tends to intensify what is already there. Or it will bring to the surface, any "shadow" issues -- those emotions, thoughts and behaviors that are normally suppressed or denied. He may have little to no control in the midst of a manic episode, but it's very likely that alcohol makes him even less inhibited and less in control of his actions. And it's just no excuse. He's not drunk all the time. And he's not manic all the time. Refusing help is a choice.

If you ever did decide to leave and he threatened your safety, I'd suggest getting a restraining order. It can be a good way to protect yourself. Any violation of a restraining order can land him in jail. It might be a sobering experience for him.

X Close Editor

May 03, 2010
Rating

Submitted by: Tamara

Title

Comment
My second Husband of three years was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder when he was young. He refuses to take medication and binges on alcohol. I am also at the point where I need to leave this relationship. When he is low he tends to be very verbally and emotionally abusive. I almost think that because he is not happy he doesn't want me to be. I am wondering if his problem is something worse then bi polar. Some times he is so cruel that I am just shocked at the things he says. He has spit in my face 2 times and wakes up the next day like nothing happens. I have had the police to my house 3 times because he was screaming so loud at me. All they do is try and make me go to a shelter but, I feel that I should be able to keep my home. My child is grown up so I don't have her to worry about. before we were married he was a wonderful man and I swear; the very day we married he changed. he also has a lot of stomach related health problems. I know that when I try to leave it is going to be so horrible. I know he will do anything to make my life difficult if I leave. I grew up in a happy home and have a lot of family who care a lot about me. I am almost afraid he will try to hurt me some day. It just seems like the police will not do anything to help until they find you dead. I wish they could forceful take him to a psychiatric ward so he can get help. Lonely and miserable, Tamara <b>Ben's Comment</b>: Just because a person has Bipolar Disorder doesn't excuse them from having to be a decent human being. Even if your husband doesn't remember spitting in your face when you tell him the next day - he should be bending over backwards to make sure he doesn't do it again. If he's binging on alcohol and refusing to treat his Bipolar disorder and his wife is telling him that he's being abusive - then he's an alcoholic in denial. And he's an abuser. Whether bipolar or not. Bipolar disorder tends to intensify what is already there. Or it will bring to the surface, any "shadow" issues -- those emotions, thoughts and behaviors that are normally suppressed or denied. He may have little to no control in the midst of a manic episode, but it's very likely that alcohol makes him even less inhibited and less in control of his actions. And it's just no excuse. He's not drunk all the time. And he's not manic all the time. Refusing help is a choice. If you ever did decide to leave and he threatened your safety, I'd suggest getting a restraining order. It can be a good way to protect yourself. Any violation of a restraining order can land him in jail. It might be a sobering experience for him.

Cancel Delete Delete & Ban

throbber Updating Comments page...