Conscious Relationships are Happy Relationships
Marriage Counseling (couple's counseling) is one form of psychotherapy that brings change very quickly, not just to the relationship, but to each person on an individual level as well.
Do you seem to "have it all together" in all parts of your life: work, school, friendships -- but when you go home to your spouse, you fall apart and turn into a child? Nobody triggers our issues and negative feelings like our partner does. This common human experience is both a blessing and a curse. Those who challenge us the most are often our greatest teachers. When we love someone, we are compelled to learn to work through our obstacles and emotional baggage, in order to create a harmonious relationship.
Nothing accelerates our personal growth like a relationship.
Call Ben Schwarcz, MFT today to schedule a couple's therapy appointment: 707.326.5566
Marriage counseling, from a transpersonal perspective, is a meeting of souls. Good couple's counseling is experiential -- that is -- you have an experience with your partner. Change occurs most profoundly in this way, rather than by telling the therapist all your problems with your partner and having arguments and debates about what happens at home and why. In therapy, you enter a safe environment where you can see your partner with new eyes -- in the present moment -- and feel things that you may have not felt for a long time - or possibly never felt before. It can be intense, blissful, enlightening, and sometimes uncomfortable -- but rarely boring.
Are you in an unconscious relationship?
When we become stuck in old patterns of behavior with our partner and keep repeating these habits despite feelings of frustration, boredom, fear, and emptiness, we are "unconscious" in our relationship. It's like sleep walking. Going through the motions without any real conscious intent or mindfulness. Some people are avoiders, not wanting to challenge their partner or change their routine for fear of making waves, causing a conflict or risking abandonment. Some are drama junkies - addicted to getting regular fixes of high level emotional interaction, and feeling that this is what makes an intimate relationship. It may feel like intimacy to be jealous, yell and argue with your spouse, and have great make-up sex -- but this is just another form of unconsciousness and is not true intimacy.
What makes a conscious relationship?
A conscious relationship requires:
- Mindfulness (self-awareness, living in the moment, with Presence and intent)
- Honesty (this doesn't mean you have to share every secret of your life)
- Vulnerability (ability and willingness to be exposed and undefended)
- Empathy (emotional attunement)
- Compassion (selflessness, kindness and love)
- Autonomy (differentiation - the ability to be your own person and create your own happiness without depending on your spouse to complete you)
- Communication (not just speaking effectively, but saying what you really mean, AND listening effectively so that your partner knows they are being understood)
Raising a healthy family is the most important, and often the most stressful job that any human being can have. A healthy relationship with your partner has to account for the whole family. Learn more about
Contact Ben Schwarcz for more information on Marriage Counseling in Santa Rosa:
Ben Schwarcz, MFT provides individual as well as marriage counseling/ couples therapy in the Santa Rosa and Sonoma County area. Please call Ben for more information or to set up an appointment at his office:
Marriage Counseling / Couples Counseling hourly and package rates