Depression and Love

by Donald
(Albania)

Greetings.
Ive been in a relationship with a girl for 13 months.I know its a short time to make big decisions but we loved each other sooo soo soo much and we would have been engaged after 1 year.The thing is,that she couldnt go on college and this made her really upset.I think she got depressed.I started texting and calling her every hour,telling her i love her and many sweet things but she never replied.I did this for like 2 weeks every day but still nothing.I asked her cousins and sister to ask her and she didnt wanted to talk to them about me. Anyways one day we talk,i tell her she is breaking my heart with her behavior, but she didnt care. She doesnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore.How can she feel this way, i didnt do anything to her and she loved me more than any person in the world. Whats the cause of this? If this is because of the depression she is having,will she love me again after the depression? And what should i do now?. I really want her back and i can wait because i really feel that shes the one for me, and my heart is getting broken everyday.
Thank you so much for your answer.

Ben's Answer:

My advice is, take care of your broken heart, and move on. Find someone who can love you and commit to you and give you the relationship you want, or you may be waiting a long time - or waiting forever. There are a million reasons why a woman might leave a relationship. You just have to accept it and don't take it personally. Whether she's depressed, afraid of intimacy, too young to commit or just decided you were not the one for her, it is not in your power to change that. And if you keep chasing her you are likely to just push her away more and do more harm to the relationship, and your own self-esteem and well-being.

Feelings of being in love, and feeling that you are destined to be with someone are not a sign of absolute truth, especially when the other person is walking away. If you can accept and let go, you will either find someone else, be at peace with yourself anyway, or she might just eventually realize she made a mistake. But you can't change things by pressuring her, or by waiting for her to come around.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT