child molestation

My dear friends 9yr old son was sexually molested by an 11 yr old boy what should she do?

Ben's Answer:

Molestation can mean lots of different things; Anything from touching private places with clothes on, to be coerced to perform sexual acts. The question is, how traumatized is the 9 year old? If he's able to talk about this experience with his parents, express his feelings about it, and get a clear message of support from his parents, then he may not need further intervention - like a therapist; He should be allowed to talk about it as much as he wants. If it was my child, I would be doing EFT/Meridian Tapping with them - it works great for kids and trauma of all kinds. This may be all that is necessary.

But if he shows any excessive signs of trauma - tearfulness, sleep problems, nightmares, insecurity, anxiety, aggression or invading the boundaries of other kids, then seeing a therapist may be in order.

The other issue is the 11 year old. Very often, a child who molests another child has himself been victimized; That child needs to be protected and cared for too. And if this 11 yr old doesn't get the intervention he needs, it is very possible that he will molest another child. So reporting this to child protective services is probably a good idea, since they have the authority to investigate, come up with a therapeutic treatment plan, and can enforce compliance with that.

Thanks for the question.

Ben Schwarcz, MFT
Santa Rosa Psychotherapist

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