Can't Stop Talking to Myself!

I have talked to myself at least since I was a teenager, I am now 33. I had no friends and was very lonely growing up. I believe it started as a way to cope with the loneliness. Now as an adult, I have many healthy relationships but I find that I cannot stop this bad habit. I find that when I am alone, I am constantly talking to an imaginary audience or to someone that I know; reliving events that happened during the day or working through future situations. Have you heard of this condition before and can it be treated? Any help would be appreciated.

Ben's Answer:

I don't think there is any "condition" that fits this description, and i don't consider it pathological. In fact, it's only a problem, if you feel it's a problem. Sounds exhausting. But it makes sense that you developed this as a way to cope with loneliness when you were young. If I was working with you, I'd try EFT. I think it's very possible that this technique could help you very quickly. You could learn it on your own, but might also benefit from working with a therapist who uses EFT. Doing the EFT process is actually "talking to yourself" - while tapping your meridian points - so it may feel quite natural to you!

Meditation is another thing that would be of tremendous help for this. Since much of your talking seems to be actually "thinking out loud" - reviewing your day, thinking through future situations, and having imaginary conversations. Most people do this all the time, just like you, except they do their talking silently, in their mind. The result is the same - you live in a state of mental preoccupation, always focused on past and future, and what-if's and you miss out on living in the Present Moment. Meditation teaches you to focus on the here-and-now and to quiet the restless mind. When the inner conversation stops, real peace and happiness begins.

Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz, MFT