A man is constantly staring at me, and I would like to know why?

He always seems to stare at me. My department is across from his department, and when I would leave my department to go to the restroom--he could see me leave, because there is a window in his department door--and I would have to walk past his department to get to the restroom. He always seemed to be in the hallway or near the restroom when I was near these places--many times it was coincidental and then became more often--seemingly on-purpose. He would slow down and piddle around, before he would go into his department. He has done many things to get noticed. I know that I am not crazy. I want your opinion, and I would like know why he expects me to speak to him first. I spoke to him first one day--but I haven't spoke to him first again--I feel like he can speak to me, too. All he does is stare at me and do things to get noticed. Why do men think that women have to speak first, but they only have to stare? This man has not been in the hallway or near the restrooms--for over a week. He called my department, almost two weeks ago, and he spoke with an aggravated tone in his voice--I really feel that he is very hurt by me not speaking to him--but he could have spoke to me--instead of just staring at me. Please help me understand.



Ben's Answer:

It's very likely this guy is attracted to you, but has no social skills, or hasn't dated in years, or he's is terrified of women - and just doesn't know how to start a conversation. So he appears to be rude and intrusive. Maybe, as you say, he is hurt that you haven't made more effort to talk to him. Of course, why should he expect that you be the one to initiate a conversation? He might have some very distorted ideas about relationships. You can't read his mind, so there's no way to know what this guy is thinking. If you feel uncomfortable with him staring at you, you could just tell him so, or ask him why he does it.
If your gut feeling is that you don't trust him, and you want nothing to do with him, then don't put yourself in any risky situations, like being alone with him. If he's staring at you while you work, and you're avoiding him, maybe another approach would be to just stare right back at him, and don't look away until he stops. You have to trust your own feelings about this. There's really no right answer here.

The most likely answer to your question, is that he's shy and uncomfortable around you and doesn't know how to approach you.

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Feb 22, 2010
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Thank you
by: Country_girl

Thank you for your time and your advice. I very much appreciate it.



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