Ask a Therapist

Ask a therapist a personal question for free.

Your questions and answers may be posted on this page for the benefit of others. All submissions will be handled confidentially. Please be specific, as general questions (such as "I think I'm Bipolar, what should I do?") are too broad. For answers to general questions there is ample information already on the website. Please take your time and look around. Check back within a few days to see if your question has been posted. Thanks!

Question: Hi, I suffered from depression about 10 years ago but was fine ever since. About 6 months ago, I did a course where I was taught how to do this breathing technique called Kriya. Ever since, I'm struggling to get through my days, I feel constantly exhausted, have lots of anger inside of me and recurring suicidal thoughts. All of this hit me completely out of the blue. My medidation teachers tell me to continue with the techniques because they claim that the Kriya is the best therapy for depression. Seeing how I feel at this point (and how good I felt before), I don't know anymore what to believe.

Answer: I'm sorry to hear about these difficulties that have arisen. Who did you learn Kriya from? Which lineage? Do you have a living SatGuru who initiated you, or was it by a teacher?

While it is true that Kriya rapidly speeds you through any unresolved subconscious emotional baggage - the difficulties you describe are not a typical experience. The advantage of having a living Master is that he/she can safeguard you from much of this traumatic upheaval of your subconscious mind. There are all sorts of potential things that can arise when practicing Kriya.

Most importantly - I would want to investigate the possibility of Bipolar Disorder (which can appear as regular depression at first), as mood swings can be triggered by a number of things, including certain antidepressant medications, and certain yogic practices like Kundalini and Kriya Yoga. Sometimes the influx of energy that is openned up can overwhelm the nervous system. Again, with a SatGuru, this is often averted. But if you have a predisposition for Bipolar Disorder, this practice may be ill advised, even with a Guru.

I may be able to help you make more sense of this if you call me. For now, I would advise you to slow down your practice to a very low level of intensity, or possibly stop for a couple weeks, and see if things feel better. If your mind is racing, or if you feel your negative/suicidal thoughts are out of control and overwhelming to you, then you should not continue doing the Kriya at this point. There are gentler meditation practices that would be safer.

Take Care,Ben Schwarcz, MFT

Follow-Up:
After I responded to this question, this young woman fortunately decided to schedule to see a licensed psychotherapist and a psychiatrist for an evaluation. She had learned "Sudarshan Kriya" - a new, popular form of meditation and pranayama that has a huge international popularity in recent years -- from some teachers, and not from a traditional Guru or Master. I don't have personal experience with Sudarhsan Kriya, (which is NOT the same as traditional Kriya Yoga), so can't really comment on this practice. Since stopping the Sudarshan Kriya, her symptoms have improved to a large degree but she's still feeling some imbalance. She's also started a gentler meditation (Loving Kindness, "Metta" meditation), and found it to be better for her right now. She comments that most everyone else in her Kriya meditation group has had rapid and positive transformations, so she questioned why her own experience was so negative. This illustrates the importance of trusting your own feelings and intuition. It also reminds us that a "teacher" is not a "Master" of yoga, (her teachers told her to just keep doing the meditation and she would work through the crisis).

Yogic Meditation is a powerful practice, and should be done with care, mindfulness, and expert guidance. It can be of tremendous benefit to most people, but it is not for everyone.

QUESTION

Subject: Bipolar Disorder
"Are irrational fears that people don't like me due to my bipolar?"

ANSWER

If you already know that you have bipolar disorder -- then these irrational fears can be a part of the distortion of thinking that come with changes in mood. If you feel this all the time - when you're up, and down and in between, then it is probably not due the bipolar, but rather a separate issue of low self-esteem and social anxiety. Bipolar disorder can amplify those negative thoughts and feelings. It may be worst when your depressed, but some people get more paranoid when they're on the manic side.

Doing some therapy work on those underlying issues can be very helpful to your overall mood stability.

QUESTION

Subject: Bipolar Disorder
"Can bipolar symptoms only last for a day or two, or do they have to last for a week or more?"
Sex: Female
Age: 19
Brisbane, Australia

ANSWER

Thanks for your question. Although it is most common for episodes to last for many days or weeks at a time, in my experience it is quite possible to have mood cycles that last only a day or two -- or even dramatic mood changes within a single day. That said, there are other reasons why a person might experience this, besides bipolar disorder, so it is always best to seek an evaluation by a qualified mental health professional if you have concerns about your mood changes.

Wishing you well,

Ben Schwarcz

QUESTION 7/10/07

Subject: Psychotherapy

Hi, I wanted to know if you had any ideas of why it feels like I get weak when people touch me? My mother says it is all in my head, but is it?

ANSWER

Hi GB - That is a very interesting question. Most likely this is a psycho-spiritual issue -- that is - it relates to both emotional/psychological issues as well as an energetic/subtle level experience. We all have energy fields. That's why you can sense when a person is looking at you, or know when someone walks into the room you are in - even if you can't see or hear them. Some people are more sensitive to other people's energy, and pick up all sorts of emotional energy or psychic impressions from others. Other people - perhaps like yourself - may have a sort of leak in their energy system, making them vulnerable to the influence of those they come in contact with. In this case, rather than taking in other's energy, your own energy flows out. There are many ways to work on this. Psychotherapy often helps because it enables you to gain more self-awareness, self-esteem, and insight about how you relate with other people, and as a result, your energy field becomes stronger. Other effective tools would be EFT/Energy Psychology, meditation and/or yoga - also to gain deep self-awareness and to balance and strengthen your subtle energy. These are just a few possibilities.

So, we could say that EVERYTHING is "all in our head" - but that doesn't exactly help the problem.

Trust your intuition, and keep exploring until you find your power.


QUESTION

Subject: Artistic Temperament Squashed by Medication?

I do not need a diagnosis, thank you, but I was wondering..Do you feel that bi-polar disorder has been recently over-diagnosed? What ever happened to the "crazy genius" or the "artistic temperament"? Seriously, my mother has been taking lithium for BPD for 2 years now and I see a marked difference, for the worse. She was an incredible artist, now she has no creative spark, no motivation and her body seems to be decaying before my eyes.It is sad. She was once passionate and brilliant and now she is a lump that does nothing. I tell her that being crazy is ok as long as she isn't hurting anybody. I love my irrationality and passionate outbursts and radical way of thinking. I don't expect to conform to societies standards, nor would I want to. Does lithium make you paranoid to the point that you feel you have to be like everybody else? What happened to individuality? Any way, if you have any answers, other than a bunch of pharamcuetical hype about the benefits of drugs than please feel free to get back in touch with me. Cool? Thanks...

ANSWER

Hi Sarah -- Thanks for your thoughtful questions.

In some respects I think any diagnosis is reductionistic, de-humanizing, and artificial. Much of the practice of giving psych diagnoses is to justify treatment to the insurance companies. That being said, there are predictable and well researched patterns of behavior and mood that we call "disorders" or illnesses, and for some people, getting an explanation for their debilitating, confusing, terrifying experiences is a great relief. Psychiatric drugs, often can and do save lives and stabilize people when they are stuck in their own emotional hell. But psychiatric drugs also can have tons of negative side effects, put stress on the body and even cause the same symptoms they are meant to treat.

I am a great believer in the artistic temperament and I think the world would be a far duller and less enlightened place if not for crazy geniuses. Lithium should not make a person paranoid and I've never seen it have that effect on anyone. But I do hear people complain of a dulled mind, and feeling of boredom, a lack of emotionality, and even the inability to cry when formerly they cried often and easily.

Part of being an artist is experiencing the changes of mood - the darkness and the light. Many artists are incredibly inspiring and talented, but unhappy most of the time. It's a very personal decision to medicate yourself. You have to weight the pros and cons. Some people continue to be very creative and productive on Lithium.

I personally think that safety should be the top priority. Dangerous, impulsive self-destructive or violent behavior is always a good reason to consider meds. Beyond that, it's a question of relieving the anguish of deep depression, or the out of control unpredictability of manic highs. Only your mom can decide what is best for her. There are many things she can do to take care of herself and balance her moods besides drugs alone, and perhaps she can at least minimize her need for medication.

All the best to you both,

Ben Schwarcz, MFT

QUESTION

Subject: Bipolar Disorder - Can it get out of hand without therapy?
Sex: Female

"I think i am suffering from Bipolar Disorder, but I am not sure, and I don't want to go to my mom with my thoughts. I know that I won't be able to go to any type of therapist without my mom's help, but all the same... I am afraid that the disorder will get out of hand. Can it?"

ANSWER

It is very important to understand that bipolar disorder is very difficult to accurately diagnose - and even mental health professionals often misdiagnose people with it (or without it). If you do have it and you don't take serious steps to manage it - through whatever means - alternative, traditional, or both -- then yes it can get worse. Much worse. Early treatment can save you years of hell.

So I recommend you talk to your mom and see an experienced therapist who is very knowledgeable about bipolar disorder. Also do your own research and reading. Read my website, and become an expert on yourself. Nobody knows yourself better than you do.

-Take Care,
Ben Schwarcz

QUESTION

Feb 09, 2008
Sex: Female
Age: 30

Subject: Psychotherapy - 5th Therapist - How do I get what I need in therapy?

"I have a really hard time opening up to people and discussing things I want/should discuss. This is an issue with my friends and family and also in therapy. I went to 4 therapists and after as many as 1 to 10 visits realized it wasn't working for me. The 5th therapist I did see, I felt this whole therapy business could work for me. I really like how she was able to understand what I was trying to express when I wasn't able to. I continued with her for 7 months, and after repeatedly asking me what else I would like to talk about or what else I wanted to work on, and my only replies were, I dont know, she felt our time was complete. I wanted to speak up and tell her there was so much I felt was unfinished, but never could get it out in the several sessions she asked me. Obviously my ability to speak how I feel was one of the issues. We had also discussed a lot of things from when I was a child and early adulthood that I never went into much detail at all, or left out because I couldn't seem to get myself to talk about them. So many of those issues are unresolved, as well as my daily life now. I know I need to continue with therapy, either her, or someone else, but after seeing 4 therapists and finally finding one that I felt I could open up with, I'd hate to start over. And I did open up to her more than I thought I would, but less than I would have wanted to. From what I'm saying, it seems like a simple solution, to just call up, make another appointment and continue, but for some reason I just feel very silly about doing so. I know I was frustrating at times, for myself and for her during our session by being so closed up and skirting around issues. I'd hate to go back and run into the same issue again and wasting my time and her time. I've been going back and forth for a couple of months now about going back. It's been 9 months since we've ended our sessions. Feeling this uncomfortable about going back, would this interfere with my sessions?!

I go back and forth constantly with this. Is it just the "unwelcomed" feeling I tend to have at times that makes me think I shouldn't go back. Or is that she felt I hit a wall with her and if I decide to go back to therapy, maybe start fresh. I'm just very confused right now. What I WANT to do is go back to see her, but I need advice to shift me once and for all to make the decision. I know this is very limited detail, but hopefully it's enough to for you to advise me. One thing I do know for sure, is I definitely need to continue therapy...haha"

ANSWER

Therapists are used to people leaving and returning later. You definitely should not be concerned about your therapist's feelings on this. The fact that you do wonder if she's frustrated or "done" with you, is itself a good issue to talk about, as you pointed out. You ability to speak how you feel is another issue you've identified. So if you think this therapist is a good one for you, then I think those issues could be explored and worked on in therapy. Sometimes therapists do get stuck themselves, with clients. And it can be incredibly helpful to her if you tell her that you feel there is much more inside of you that you haven't been able to express, and that just because you appear to be fine, doesn't mean you feel finished. If those are issues she can tackle with you, then great. If not, then perhaps a different sort of therapist would be more suited to the next leg of your journey.

Feeling "unwelcome" is a very legitimate subject for therapy (and a common one). And can be worked on in the context of your relationship with your therapist, regarding the assumptions and inhibitions you have around her. It sounds like you are just getting "ripe" for doing some powerful, life-changing work on yourself. Don't give up!

Wishing you Happiness,

Ben Schwarcz, MFT

QUESTION

Dec 10 2007
Sex: Female
Country: Canada

Subject: Bipolar Disorder

"How do you explain to the people around you that you have Bipolar Disorder without just saying its big mood swings? Once i say that, they don't take it seriously and just assume everyone is..I don't see it as a joke like they do and I'm frustrated with it."

ANSWER

I prefer the old term "Manic Depression" to describe it. It's much closer to the mark than "bipolar" which many ignorant people think just means mood swings or even 2 personalities/ split personality. That said, your going to encounter many who don't understand, are judgmental, or just don't care to try to understand until they have to deal with a close friend family member that has it. Those brave enough to be open about their diagnosis have the burden of educating the ignorant and naive public about the disorder. Don's waste your time trying to explain to people you know wont take you seriously. That just leads to frustration and resentment. Save the explanation for those that really care to know. You can lend them a book - like The Biplor Survival Guide, or An Unquiet Mind. You could refer them to a website. If they don't care enough about you to look at one of those things, then they are not worth your effort and you should put your attention on people who are more caring. And if you can find a way to connect with others with BP then you will build your confidence and self-esteem.

Wishing you Well,

Ben Schwarcz, MFT