9-Year Old with a Diaper Fetish
Hello, I am a 38 yr old mother of a 9yr old boy who has had a fixation with diapers since he was 4 or 5. 2 years ago I discovered the websites that discuss diaper fetishes. I believe that my son possibly is dealing with this. I have been very supportive, never judging, and have provided him with diapers when he has asked for them. It is clear that he struggles with the urges that he has. He tries to make the thoughts of them leave his mind but sometimes they are very strong and he ends up giving into the urges. He tells me he doesn't know why he likes them, other than they are comfortable and cozy. He has no interest in soiling them and never wears them out of his bedroom. I have explained to him that God has made us all different and we all deal with different issues, so their is nothing to feel shame about, although I told him that it is something that we will need to keep private because his friends may not understand his struggle.
I have spent countless hours online reading about this condition but have not found any sources of help. My husband and I spoke to a psychiatrist about 1.5 years ago and he was not aware of the condition and wanted to talk to him about giving him some exercises to help replace the thoughts. At the time my son was so young, I was concerned about him having to talk to someone else about the issue so I did not follow through. He has recently shared with me that he is willing to talk to a doctor to help him with his thoughts.
If there is help for his age and this problem what would you suggest? I have thought of hypnotherapy but really don't know how to go about finding help for him. He is so young and this could impact him for all his life. I look forward and appreciate your insight.
First I should say, it sounds like you've handled this issue with great compassion and sensitivity. Your son is lucky to have such supportive parents.
Your son could probably benefit from simply talking to a therapist weekly - a person that he can really come to trust and confide in. Just talking to a trusted, non-judging adult, besides his parents, could be very helpful. The only possible down side of that, is that you don't want to reinforce or suggest that there is something wrong with him. Some kids will accept seeing a therapist with little or no urging or explanation, while others may question it, and assume it means they have a serious problem.
But the first thing I would try is EFT/Meridian Tapping. EFT is a technique that you can learn to use yourself, and then use on your son (teaching him to use it on his own in the process). This might help you to avoid seeing a professional altogether. Since your son is able to talk openly about the issue with you already, using EFT would be especially easy, and might even free him of this obsession in a matter of minutes. Using EFT, the chances of success are excellent.
You can learn more about EFT here:
Learn the Basic EFT Technique
You could also arrange a phone session with me and I can advise you specifically on suggestions for using EFT for your son's issue.
Ben Schwarcz, MFT
Santa Rosa Psychotherapist